What routine keeps turns fair in games when adults aren’t involved? 

Parenting Perspective 

When children play without adults, fairness can quickly crumble into arguments like, ‘It is my turn!’ or ‘You cheated!’ Instead of trying to supervise from afar, your goal is to help them build a structure that carries your presence in spirit. A predictable, self-managed routine teaches children how to share power, practise patience, and respect boundaries even when no one is watching. 

Setting Up the ‘Turn Clock’ Routine 

Introduce a clear, visual rule that all the children involved can understand. 

• Use a Timer: Each player gets a fixed amount of time for their turn (two or three minutes works well for short games). 

• Rotate the Starting Order: Whoever started the last game goes second in the next one. 

• Agree on Consequences: If someone argues or refuses to switch when their time is up, the game pauses until both agree to restart. 

You can write these rules on a small card and tape it near the play area: Timer. Switch. Rotate. Restart Together. This turns the idea of fairness into a shared responsibility, not a parental enforcement. 

The Fairness Circle 

For games that involve more than two players, you can teach them the ‘Fairness Circle’. Everyone sits in a circle, each turn moves to the next person, and no skipping is allowed. If a dispute arises, the group must pause the game and count to ten together before restarting. This tiny ritual can help to cool emotions and reset the balance. For older children, you can assign a rotating ‘referee’ who manages the turn order for one game and then hands over that responsibility to the next person. 

Turning Rules into Values 

Explain that these routines are not only about keeping the peace; they also teach self-control, empathy, and trustworthiness. You can say, ‘Fair play shows how much you respect everyone else’s fun, not just your own.’ Over time, this system helps to build moral maturity, and fairness becomes a quiet habit that travels with them into their classrooms, their friendships, and their later life. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, fairness is not just a rule for games; it is an act of justice. When children learn to share their turns honestly, they are practising adl a divine quality of balance that is beloved by Allah. The way they handle small things like games helps to prepare their hearts for fairness in the bigger matters of life. 

Justice in Every Interaction 

The Quran beautifully ties the concept of fairness to the very order of creation itself. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rahman (55), Verses 7–9: 

‘And the layers of trans-universal existence are elevated with precise (gravitational) balance. So that nothing may transgress the (gravitational) balance; and established that (gravitational) force in equilibrium, and there cannot be any deficiency in the (gravitational) balance.’ 

You can tell your children, ‘When you take fair turns in your games, you are helping to keep the balance that Allah has built into the world.’ This helps them to see justice not as a rule from their parents, but as a sense of harmony that comes from Allah Himself. 

The Reward for Being Fair and Just 

The teachings of our Prophet ﷺ explain that being fair in a small game makes a person like a just leader, who pleases Allah through their balance and kindness. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1329, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Indeed, the most beloved of people to Allah on the Day of Resurrection, and the closest to Him, will be the just leader.’ 

Although they are not rulers, every time they choose to play fairly, they are practising a leadership of the heart. 

Remind them that fairness when unseen is a sign of true strength. A child who ensures that turns are equal without needing reminders is already leading with integrity, which is the kind of leadership that Allah honours. When they learn that keeping the ‘turn balance’ is a part of their faith, fairness stops feeling like a rule and starts feeling like an act of worship.