How can I help them return a stolen item a friend slipped into their bag? 

Parenting Perspective 

Few situations test a child’s conscience more sharply than being caught up in someone else’s wrongdoing. When a friend slips a stolen item into your child’s bag, your child may feel confused, anxious, or even guilty for something they did not do. Your role as a parent is to calm their fear first and then guide them through repairing the situation with integrity and courage. Begin by saying, ‘I am so proud that you told me about this; that took real bravery.’ This reassures your child that they are not alone and reinforces honesty as the safest path. 

Start with Understanding and Calm 

Ask gentle, open-ended questions: ‘When did this happen?’, ‘What did your friend say?’, and ‘How are you feeling about it?’ This helps your child to untangle the event and releases any guilt they might be unfairly carrying. It is important to avoid reacting with anger or panic, as children often mirror your tone. If your child had no part in the theft, clarify that from the very beginning. They are helping to undo a wrong, not being punished for one. 

Teaching the Principle of Making Things Right 

Explain that returning the item is not about shame, but about setting things back in order. You could say, ‘When something wrong happens, the best thing we can do is to fix it with honesty and care.’ Then, you can guide them through a simple and safe plan. 

• Identify the owner. If the item is from a school or a shop, find out who to contact. 

• Plan a discreet return. For a young child, you may need to return it yourself or accompany them to speak to a teacher or a store manager. 

• Encourage a truthful explanation. Teach them to say something like, ‘Someone put this in my bag, but I want to make sure it gets back to the right place.’ 

These steps transform a fearful moment into a life lesson in moral strength and accountability. 

Restoring Trust and Emotional Safety 

Your child may worry about how this situation will make them look to others. Reassure them that returning the item is what shows their true character and that Allah values honesty, even when others might misunderstand. Praise their courage out loud: ‘What you did was a difficult but very honest thing to do.’ This praise helps them to feel proud of their actions instead of ashamed. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places immense value on amanah the trust and honesty that hold our communities together. Keeping or benefiting from something that is not yours, even if it happens unknowingly, is a weight on the conscience. Returning a stolen item is not just a moral act; it is an act of purification that restores justice and earns divine mercy. 

Upholding Honesty as a Sacred Trust 

The Quran reminds believers that trustworthiness is a form of worship. Even when others act dishonestly, a true believer must stand firm in their integrity. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verse 27: 

‘O you who are believers, do not ever be pretentious (in following the commandment) of Allah (Almighty) and His Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ); and do not misappropriate what has been entrusted upon you, whilst you know (the consequences of such actions).’ 

You can explain to your child, ‘Allah has trusted you to return what rightfully belongs to others. This is how we show our faith in Him.’ Returning the stolen item, therefore, becomes a spiritual act that cleanses the heart and reaffirms that Allah values truth over appearances. 

The Honour of Returning What Is Not Yours 

The teachings of our Prophet ﷺ highlight the seriousness of honesty in Islam, not as a social rule, but as a measure of faith itself. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 5021, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The signs of a hypocrite are three: when he speaks, he lies; when he promises, he breaks it; and when he is entrusted, he betrays the trust.’ 

This hadith teaches that by returning what does not belong to them, your child is walking away from the character of a hypocrite and moving closer to sincerity. You can tell them, ‘Every time you choose honesty, you choose to be among those whom Allah loves.’ 

When your child restores what was wrongfully taken, they learn that while the truth may feel heavy at first, it lifts the heart in the end.