How do I support them to leave a toxic group chat quietly and kindly? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a group chat turns toxic, a child can feel trapped between their desire to belong and the voice of their conscience. They may fear social backlash, having their messages screenshotted, or being labelled as ‘boring’. Your role is to give them the clarity, language, and a low-drama exit plan that protects their dignity and safety while modelling integrity. 

Name the Problem Clearly, Not Dramatically 

Sit down with your child and identify what exactly makes the chat unhealthy. Is it the mocking of classmates, the spreading of rumours, pressure to share inappropriate images, or constant late-night notifications? Naming these specific behaviours helps your child to trust their own judgement. You can say to them, ‘You are always allowed to leave spaces that harm your peace. That is a sign of strength, not rudeness.’ 

Choose a Low-Friction Exit Path 

Offer them a few options and let them choose the one that best fits their situation. 

• The Quiet Fade: Mute the chat, stop responding, and then leave at a calm time. 

• The Polite Boundary: Post one brief, polite message and then exit immediately. 

• The Private Step-Down: Inform one trusted friend in the group privately that they are leaving, and then exit without a public announcement. 

Keeping the exit simple reduces the spectacle and is less likely to provoke a reaction. 

Provide Them with Ready-Made Scripts 

Rehearse a few short, neutral messages that can close the loop kindly. 

• ‘Hey everyone, I am trying to cut down on my screen time, so I am leaving this chat. I wish you all well.’ 

• ‘I am stepping out of large group chats to focus on my schoolwork. Take care.’ 

• If asked why they left: ‘I have found that group chats are not for me right now. I will see you at school.’ 

The goal is to exit, not to enter into a debate or deliver a moral lecture. 

Plan for Possible Backlash 

Prepare your child with calm responses for common pushbacks from peers. 

• ‘Why are you being so serious?’ → ‘I am just tidying up my phone. It is all good.’ 

• ‘You think you are better than us.’ → ‘Not at all. I just need a quieter online space.’ 

• ‘We will just add you again.’ → ‘Please do not. I am trying to keep things simple.’ 

If any teasing escalates into harassment, help them to screenshot the evidence, note the dates, and report it to the school calmly. 

Spiritual Insight 

Choosing to step away from a harmful online space is an act of taqwa and self-respect. Islam invites believers to walk past ugliness with dignity, neither joining in with mockery nor inflaming a conflict. This is an opportunity to teach your child how to pair mercy with firm boundaries. 

Passing By Harm With Dignity 

The Quran teaches that believers do not linger in spaces where falsehood and ill speech are present.¹ 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 72: 

‘And those people who choose not to verify falsehood; and whenever they pass (people engaged in) obscenities; they pass by them (as if) they respected them.’ 

This verse reminds us that true believers neither endorse harmful talk nor remain in its presence. You can tell your child, ‘Leaving a chat that spreads harm is an example of this dignity. You are not judging the people in it; you are protecting your own heart and honouring Allah.’ 

Choosing Better Company, Gently 

The teachings of our Prophet ﷺ emphasise the profound influence that our companions have on our character. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 2101, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like the seller of musk and the blacksmith’s bellows’ 

This beautiful hadith teaches that our companions affect the ‘scent’ of our character. You can explain, ‘When you choose to be in kinder spaces, your heart keeps the fragrance of goodness. Walking away from hurtful talk is not an act of pride; it is an act of wisdom.’ 

Encourage a simple practice before they open their chats: ‘O Allah, let my words be clean and my online spaces be kind.’ Over time, your child will feel the inner ease that follows dignified boundaries.