What should I do when they are asked for a password and no adult will know? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child is asked to set or share a password that no adult will know, it can feel like a test of their independence and a test of your trust. The goal is not to take control of their privacy, but to teach them about digital amanah (responsibility and trust), so they can understand when confidentiality is appropriate and when secrecy is unsafe. 

Explain the Difference Between Privacy and Secrecy 

Begin the conversation with calm clarity: ‘Privacy is something safe that you are allowed to keep to yourself, like a personal diary. Secrecy is when someone asks you to hide something from the people who are here to protect you.’ A simple rule to establish is: if someone insists that adults must never know, that is a warning sign. This helps your child to recognise potential manipulation, whether it comes from a website, a peer, or a stranger. 

Establish a Family Password Policy 

Create a clear and predictable system that gives your child both structure and safety. 

• Shared Logbook: Keep the passwords for all family accounts in a locked notebook or a secure, shared application that is known to the parents. 

• Private but Transparent: For older children, you can allow personal passwords for school or study applications, but with the understanding that you have access in case of an emergency. 

• The ‘Never Alone’ Rule: No secret accounts, hidden storage apps, or alternate logins should be created. 

This approach turns transparency into a normal family practice rather than a form of punishment. 

Give Them the Words to Refuse Pressure 

Role-play scenarios where someone might say, ‘Do not tell your parents this password,’ or ‘Let us just keep this between us.’ Teach them polite but firm responses. 

• ‘My parents need to know about my accounts; that is our family rule.’ 

• ‘We do not keep tech secrets in our house.’ 

• ‘If it is a safe app, I can share it with them. If not, I cannot use it.’ 

Practising these lines gives your child a calm script to follow before they ever face a real situation. 

Empower Without Over-Control 

For older children, it is important to acknowledge their growing need for privacy. You can explain, ‘Trust grows when we are honest with each other. If you ever feel uncomfortable sharing a password with me, tell me why, and we can decide on a solution together.’ This approach balances respect with accountability. While over-monitoring can breed rebellion, open dialogue builds maturity. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, trust (amanah) is a sacred concept. Our passwords, devices, and digital information all fall under the umbrella of this trust. Teaching your child to safeguard their digital life with honesty and caution is a way of training their soul to respect the boundaries set by Allah Almighty. 

Guarding What You Are Entrusted With 

The Quran reminds us that trust is not limited to money or spoken secrets; it includes every responsibility we hold. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verse 27: 

‘O you who are believers, do not ever be pretentious (in following the commandment) of Allah (Almighty) and His Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ); and do not misappropriate what has been entrusted upon you, whilst you know (the consequences of such actions).’ 

You can explain to your child, ‘When someone gives you access to an account or asks for your password, you are carrying a trust. Betraying or misusing that trust harms everyone involved.’ Linking digital honesty to divine accountability turns these small choices into acts of faith. 

The Sanctity of Entrusted Information 

The teachings of our Prophet ﷺ highlight the sacred nature of any information given in confidence. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1259, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When a man tells you something and then looks around, it is a trust.’ 

This hadith teaches us that whatever is given in confidence, whether it be words, files, or passwords, is an amanah. However, if someone demands secrecy in a way that isolates your child from their protectors, that request is itself a violation of trust. This provides a clear way to explain that real honesty is not about keeping dangerous secrets, but about protecting the boundaries that Allah approves of. 

Encourage your child to make a simple dua when setting any password: ‘O Allah, help me to protect what is right and to share what keeps me safe.’ When a child understands that amanah is about honouring safety and truth, they learn that real strength lies in guarding that trust, both online and in the unseen presence of Allah.