What should we plan if they forgot homework and could get a parent to lie? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child forgets their homework, the temptation to ask a parent to write an excuse can be very strong. This impulse rarely comes from a place of malice; it is usually driven by panic, embarrassment, and a wish to avoid the consequences. Your role is to replace this crisis-driven thinking with a clear plan that protects honesty, teaches responsibility, and prevents the mistake from happening again. 

Establish a Family Rule: No False Notes, Ever 

State your family’s boundary on this matter kindly but firmly: ‘In our home, we do not lie about homework. We tell the truth, we fix what we can, and we learn from it for next time.’ This should be a standing rule that is discussed during a calm moment, not in the heat of panic. Children feel more secure when they know the script before a problem arises. 

Give Them the Words for the Next Morning 

To reduce their anxiety, practise a short and respectful script that your child can use when speaking to their teacher. 

• ‘I forgot to bring my homework today. I am very sorry. I have brought it with me to finish. What would you like me to do?’ 

Rehearsing this removes the element of dread and shifts the responsibility for action back to your child. 

Coach Calmness Through Consequences 

If the teacher issues a late mark or another consequence, it is important that you remain steady. You can say to your child, ‘That is a fair consequence, and you are strong enough to handle it.’ Rescuing a child with a lie prevents them from developing resilience, whereas holding the boundary with empathy helps to build it. 

Build a System to Prevent Forgetfulness 

The best way to make lying unnecessary is to make forgetting unlikely. Work with your child to create a simple organisational system. 

• Pack-and-Park: Homework should be placed directly into their schoolbag as soon as it is finished. 

• The Launchpad: Designate a single shelf or basket by the front door for their schoolbag, diary, and water bottle. 

• Nightly Audit: Have your child read their timetable for the next day aloud and tick off the items that are packed. 

• Visual Cue: Use a bright clip or ribbon on their bag that signals ‘homework is inside’. 

Model Honesty in Your Own Communication 

If you feel a note to the teacher is appropriate, model how an adult handles this situation with honesty. You could write: ‘My child forgot their homework yesterday. They will submit it tomorrow. We are now practising a new packing routine at night to prevent this from happening again.’ This shows your child that truthfulness is straightforward and effective. 

Spiritual Insight 

This situation is a practical lesson in sidq (truthfulness) and amanah (trust). Asking a parent to lie may save face in the short term, but it introduces doubt and dishonesty into the heart. Guiding a child to stand in their truth, accept the consequences, and take steps to repair their mistake is a quiet act of worship that strengthens the soul. 

Truth Over Short-Term Rescue 

The Quran teaches that false speech is a pollutant to the heart and soul. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hajj (22), Verse 30: 

‘…So, abstain from the loathsome beliefs and practices of idol worship; and abstain from making false statements.’ 

This verse reminds us that there is no such thing as a small lie. You can tell your child, ‘We must always protect our tongues from falsehood, because Allah hears everything we say. A small lie about homework is not small in the sight of Allah.’ When a child chooses to speak plainly instead of using a fake excuse, they are purifying their heart. 

A Parent-Child Honesty Pact 

The teachings of our Prophet ﷺ provide a simple moral compass for moments of uncertainty. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2518, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Leave that which makes you doubt for that which does not make you doubt.’ 

This hadith is a perfect guide for this situation. You can say to your child, ‘If asking me to write a false excuse makes your heart feel uneasy, then let us choose the clear path instead. We will speak the truth and make a better plan for the future.’ 

Encourage a brief family practice after such a mistake: a sincere apology, an act of extra effort to make amends, and a quiet dua, such as: ‘O Allah, please strengthen me to always speak the truth and to keep my trusts.’ In time, your child will feel the lightness that follows honesty and the dignity that comes from facing mistakes without disguise.