How can I coach taking turns being the chaser and the chased? 

Parenting Perspective 

Chasing games are thrilling for children because they combine speed, laughter, and a sense of power. However, the fun can quickly turn into an unfair or intimidating experience when one child always does the chasing, or another always ends up being cornered. The goal is to integrate the concept of turn-taking into the fun of the game itself. When you coach this balance using a calm structure and playful energy, children learn that excitement and empathy can coexist. 

Make Turn-Taking a Core Rule 

Before the game begins, explain the rule clearly: ‘In this game, everyone gets a turn to chase and a turn to be chased.’ It can be helpful to practise switching roles when everyone is calm, naming each role out loud: ‘Now it is your turn to be the chaser… and now we swap!’ 

Use Visual or Time-Based Cues 

Small children can easily lose track of time when they are running around. A simple physical cue, such as a special hat or a soft scarf that only the chaser wears, can be very effective. When the time is up, you can say, ‘Time to pass the chaser hat!’ For older children, you could use a timer set for 30-second rounds. Using predictable cues for swapping roles helps to prevent arguments about fairness. 

Link the Different Roles to Empathy 

After a round, ask brief questions to encourage reflection: ‘How did it feel to be the chaser? And how did it feel to be chased?’ This helps children to see both sides of the power dynamic. Praise them when you see them noticing another person’s feelings: ‘You realised he was getting tired. That shows real awareness.’ 

Teach Simple, Natural Scripts 

Coach your children to use simple phrases that feel natural, such as the chaser saying, ‘Ready? I am coming to get you!’, and the person being chased saying, ‘Pause! Your turn now.’ These short lines can reduce confusion and stop children from shouting or arguing during the game. 

Intervene Gently When Needed 

When you notice one child dominating the chaser role or another becoming distressed, pause the game with calm authority: ‘Freeze! Time to switch.’ It is always best to walk over and lower your tone rather than shouting from a distance. If a child resists, you can offer a choice: ‘You can either swap now and keep the game going, or you can take a water break and rejoin us later.’ 

Parent: ‘Okay, remember our rule: everyone gets a turn to be the chaser.’ 

Child A: ‘But I want to keep on chasing!’ 

Parent: ‘I know it is fun, but fairness is our family rule. If you swap the hat now, you can be the chaser again in the next round.’ 

Child B: ‘Okay, I will try being the chaser now.’ 

Debrief Briefly Afterwards 

At the end of the game, take thirty seconds to reflect together: ‘What helped to keep the game fun today?’ or ‘How did switching roles make it fair?’ Children internalise the concept of fairness best when it is discussed while the mood is still positive. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that justice and fairness should be present in every aspect of our lives, even in our moments of play. By coaching children to take turns, you are helping them to practise the virtues of justice and mercy. 

Practising Justice in Everyday Play 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 58: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) commands you to execute all trusts to their rightful owners; and when you (are asked to) judge between people, that you should judge with justice…’ 

This verse reminds us that justice is not limited to courts of law; it belongs in every moment where power is shared. Taking turns at being the chaser is a child-sized version of this divine command. It is an opportunity to practise fairness when the heart is excited, not just when it is calm. 

Embodying Mercy and Balance 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4941, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Show mercy to those on earth, and the One above the heavens will show mercy to you.’ 

When children willingly switch roles and show concern for each other’s comfort, they are embodying the quality of mercy. They learn that fun without fairness can be hurtful, but fairness multiplies joy. This early practice of empathy is the seed of mercy that will grow into a mature faith.