How do I teach “person-first” language that keeps dignity central? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children naturally mirror the language they hear from others. If they hear labels like ‘the disabled kid’ or ‘the fat one’, they may adopt these phrases without realising the hurt they can cause. The practice of person-first language, such as saying ‘a child who uses a wheelchair’ instead of ‘the wheelchair kid’, ensures that the individual remains central, rather than being defined by a single characteristic. As a parent, your role is to model, explain, and practise a way of speaking that prioritises a person’s dignity over their differences. 

Explain the Core Principle 

Children grasp concepts most effectively when they are explained with simplicity and clarity. You can tell them: ‘We always put the person first, because nobody is just one thing. A person is always more than how they look, move, or learn.’ Provide simple examples: ‘Instead of saying “the shy girl,” we can say “the girl who feels shy sometimes.”’ This framing helps your child understand that words have the power to make someone feel either diminished or respected. 

Model the Language Consistently 

Use person-first language naturally in your own conversations. When your child hears you consistently centre the individual, they will absorb it as the normal way to speak. 

• ‘He is a boy who has asthma.’ 

• ‘She is a friend who is tall.’ 

• ‘That is a man who uses a cane.’ 

Practise Through Gentle Role-Play 

Turn the learning process into a light-hearted game. You can say a label, for instance, ‘the blind man’, and ask your child to rephrase it using person-first language: ‘the man who is blind’. Remember to switch roles so they can practise both noticing and correcting. Always praise their effort: ‘That was a very kind way to say it. You put the person first.’ 

Correct Gently and Without Shame 

If your child uses a label, gently rephrase their words rather than scolding them. A long lecture is not necessary; a quick redirect is far more effective. 

Child: ‘That is the stutter kid.’ 

Parent: ‘How can we say that with person-first words?’ 

Child: ‘That is a child who sometimes stutters.’ 

Parent: ‘That is perfect. You made the person bigger than the difference.’ 

Reinforce with Positive Feedback 

When you notice your child using respectful language on their own, acknowledge it. Saying, ‘I loved how you described your “friend who wears glasses.” That showed a lot of respect,’ reinforces dignity as your family’s standard. 

By incorporating person-first language into your daily life, you help your child cultivate empathy, thoughtful communication, and genuine respect for others. They learn that words carry the power to either hurt or uplift, and that choosing the path of dignity is always better. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic teachings command us to honour every human being as a creation of Allah Almighty, not to reduce them to labels or perceived flaws. Training children to use person-first language is therefore more than social etiquette; it is a direct expression of the Quranic ethic of human dignity. 

The Quranic View on Human Honour 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 70: 

‘Indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have honoured the descendants of Adam; and fostered them over the land and the sea; and provided sustenance for them with purified nourishment; and We gave them preferential treatment over many of those (species) We have created with special privileges.’ 

This verse affirms that every human being has been honoured by their Creator, regardless of their physical condition or personal circumstances. By teaching children to say ‘a person who…’ instead of applying a label, you are helping them uphold this universal, Quranic principle of human dignity. 

The Prophetic Warning Against Contempt 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2564, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is enough evil for a man to hold his brother Muslim in contempt.’ 

This hadith teaches that looking down on someone or reducing them to a single trait is a form of contempt, which is a serious sin. Person-first language is a practical tool that guards against this spiritual pitfall by forcing us to place the person before their condition. It helps keep our hearts aligned with mercy and our tongues aligned with respect. 

When your child learns this way of speaking, they are not just being polite. They are living an Islamic principle: every person is honoured, every person deserves dignity, and no one should ever be defined by what makes them different.