What can they say when friends ‘roast’ each other and it turns mean? 

Parenting Perspective 

‘Roasting’ between friends can often begin as playful fun, but it can easily slip into hurtful territory. A child might laugh along at first, but as the teasing becomes sharper, it can create a genuine sense of humiliation for the person being targeted. This leaves other children in a difficult position: if they join in, they risk causing harm, but if they stay silent, they may feel complicit. The key is to equip your child with neutral, kind phrases that can gently halt the meanness without making them sound self-righteous or awkward. 

Explain the Line Between Playful Fun and Actual Harm 

Begin by teaching your child how to recognise when a joke has crossed a line. You can say: ‘It is okay to joke with friends, but when the laughter starts to make someone feel smaller instead of lighter, it is not okay anymore.’ Help them to notice the subtle clues that show someone is hurt, such as a friend going quiet, avoiding eye contact, or forcing a laugh. 

Provide Gentle Interruption Scripts 

Give your child short, non-confrontational lines that can shift the tone of the conversation. 

• ‘Alright, let us not take it too far.’ 

• ‘Okay, let us keep the mood light.’ 

• ‘I think that one might have stung a bit. Let us move on.’ 

• ‘We are all friends here; let us not make it personal.’ 

These gentle comments help to protect the person being teased without shaming the others in the group. 

Teach Them How to Redirect the Conversation 

If the group persists with the teasing, your child can use a simple redirection to change the subject entirely. 

• ‘Who is up for another round of the game instead?’ 

• ‘Okay, new topic – what is everyone doing for lunch?’ 

A simple distraction often dissolves the ‘pile-on’ effect more smoothly than a direct confrontation. 

Provide ‘Repair’ Lines for When They Slip Up 

If your child gets caught up in the moment and joins in with the teasing before realising it has turned mean, teach them how to make a quick and sincere repair. 

• ‘I am sorry, I think I took that too far.’ 

• ‘I did not mean for that to be hurtful. It was supposed to be fun, not mean.’ 

This teaches them humility and accountability. 

A Practical Dialogue Example 

• Friend 1: ‘You are so bad at this! No wonder your team lost!’ 

• Group: (Laughs) 

• Your Child: ‘Alright, let us not make it personal. You will get them next round.’ 

• Friend 2: ‘Yes, that is true.’ 

• Parent (later): ‘That was a strong and kind thing to do. You softened the mood and lifted your friend back up.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Guarding the Tongue Against Hurtful Speech 

The noble Quran reminds us that mockery and ridicule are corrosive to both relationships and faith. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verses 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them…and do not insult each other; and do not call each other by (offensive) nicknames…’ 

This verse applies directly to ‘roasting.’ Even if it begins as play, as soon as it belittles or humiliates someone, it enters the category of ridicule that is forbidden by Allah Almighty. A parent can explain: ‘Protecting someone in that moment is a way of living this verse.’ 

The Prophet’s ﷺGuidance on True Brotherhood 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that part of loving your brother or sister in faith is wanting for them the same dignity and respect that you want for yourself. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 45, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.’ 

When applied to this situation, the hadith teaches a simple lesson: if a child would not want to be the target of harsh roasting, then they should not allow others to suffer from it either. Instead, they can step in with a kind phrase or a gentle redirection that protects the dignity of their friend. 

By anchoring this social skill in the Quran and Sunnah, children learn that faith does not cancel joy, but guides it towards goodness.