What can I say when my child rolls their eyes but claims ‘I didn’t say anything’? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child rolls their eyes at you, it can feel incredibly dismissive and disrespectful. Parents often feel torn in these moments; the child insists, ‘I did not say anything,’ yet their body language is clearly communicating a negative attitude. The challenge is to teach your child that communication is about more than just words, while avoiding an overreaction that could escalate the moment into a power struggle. 

Acknowledge the Behaviour Calmly 

Eye-rolling is often a form of silent protest from a child who feels frustrated or powerless. Instead of snapping with a phrase like, ‘Do not you dare roll your eyes at me!’, it is more effective to name what you see without accusation. You could say, ‘Your eyes told me something just now, even though your mouth did not.’ This approach helps your child to recognise that their non-verbal actions have meaning. It also signals that you are paying close attention, without shaming them. 

Explain That Actions Speak, Too 

Children need to be taught that communication is about more than just spoken words. You can explain, ‘Rolling your eyes is another way of speaking. It usually tells the other person that you are feeling annoyed or dismissive.’ By framing it as a form of communication, not just as rudeness, you are giving your child the language they need to reflect on their own actions. 

Give Them a Replacement Strategy 

Offer your child clear alternatives that allow them to express their frustration in a more respectful way. For example: 

• Instead of rolling their eyes, they could learn to say, ‘I am feeling frustrated right now.’ 

• Instead of sighing loudly, they could say, ‘Can I please explain my side of the story?’ 

• Instead of walking away, they could say, ‘I think I need a break for a moment.’ 

It is helpful to role-play these replacements when everyone is calm. Eye-rolling can become an automatic habit, so practising respectful responses makes better reactions more easily available when irritation hits. 

Model Self-Control in Your Own Reactions 

Children are quick to notice when their parents show disapproval through non-verbal cues like sighs, raised eyebrows, or sarcastic tones. If you tell them not to roll their eyes but regularly show your own frustration non-verbally, your message will lose its strength. Model what it looks like to keep your expressions and your tone steady, even when you are feeling upset. 

Reinforce Honest Communication 

When your child chooses to express themselves respectfully with words rather than by rolling their eyes, it is important to highlight the positive difference. For example, “Thank you for telling me that you are frustrated instead of just showing it with your eyes. That helps me to understand you much better.” This shows them that honest, respectful words can build cooperation and reduce conflict. 

A Sample Dialogue 

Child: (rolls eyes) ‘I did not say anything!’ 

Parent: ‘You are right, you did not say any words. But rolling your eyes speaks, too. It tells me that you are feeling annoyed.’ 

Child: (sighs) ‘Fine, I am frustrated.’ 

Parent: ‘Thank you for telling me with your words. Next time, please say that instead of showing it with your eyes. Then we can solve the problem together.’ 

This simple exchange acknowledges the non-verbal behaviour, redirects the child towards a more respectful expression, and helps to build their awareness without causing shame. The overall goal is to teach your child that respect is shown not only in our words, but also in our tone, our gestures, and our expressions. Correcting them calmly and providing them with clear alternatives helps them to grow in emotional intelligence while maintaining family harmony. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that true communication is not only about what we say, but also about how we say it. Even our silence and our gestures can carry a great deal of meaning and weight. 

Guarding Expression as Part of Faith 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Qaaf (50), Verses 18: 

‘(Man) is unable to utter a single word, without him being closely observed (and all actions being recorded), who is always present.’ 

This verse reminds us that every form of our expression is observed and will be accounted for. Although the verse refers directly to spoken words, Islamic scholars explain that our intentions, our tone of voice, and our non-verbal communication also shape our accountability. Teaching this to our children can help them to realise that rolling their eyes or making other dismissive gestures is not ‘nothing’, but is in fact a part of their moral responsibility. 

Respecting Others as a Mark of Belief 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 1734, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A believer is not a taunter, nor a curser, nor is he obscene or shameless.’ 

This Hadith reminds us that our faith is reflected in how we carry ourselves, not only in what we speak. The act of eye-rolling, though not verbal, can easily fall into the category of taunting or showing dismissiveness. Teaching this connection to our children gently helps them to see that our faith calls us to maintain respect in our subtle actions as well as in our words. 

By making this link clear, you can show your child that good manners are not just social expectations, but are in fact a part of their spiritual discipline. They can begin to understand that how they speak, act, and even gesture is all connected to their faith. Correcting eye-rolling without shaming your child helps them to grow in maturity and emotional honesty. At the same time, rooting your correction in these Islamic teachings nurtures their awareness that even their smallest actions matter in the sight of Allah Almighty.