What routine helps us review what worked after the repair is done? 

Parenting Perspective 

After a child has made a repair for a mistake, the review stage is just as important as the initial apology or the act of amends. Without a proper review, the same mistakes can be repeated, or the child may continue to feel that they are still labelled by their old slip-up. A short and predictable review routine helps the family to notice progress, lock in the new safeguards, and officially close the loop with a sense of dignity. 

The ‘Three Rs Review’ (Five Minutes Maximum) 

This simple, three-step review process can be used every time. 

• Recall the fact. Ask, ‘What was the camera fact of what happened?’ This should be done in a neutral, non-shaming tone. 

• Review the repair. Ask, ‘What did you do to repair it, and how did that go?’ 

• Set a reminder. Ask, ‘What safeguard is now in place so this does not happen again?’ 

This repetition helps to fix in your child’s memory the idea that mistakes are solved through a clear process of honesty, action, and prevention. 

Use a Visible Anchor for Accountability 

Consider keeping a ‘Repair Journal’ or a small whiteboard with three columns: Fact, Repair, and Safeguard. Each repair that is undertaken can be recorded with a tick box. When the process is complete, you can add a tick and write the words, ‘Finished for today.’ This provides a visual confirmation of closure and allows your child to see their own reliability grow over time. 

Ask Two Coaching Questions Only 

It is important to avoid long speeches during the review. Instead, use these two open-ended prompts to encourage your child to reflect. 

• ‘What part of the repair process worked the best?’ 

• ‘What could make it even easier for you next time?’ 

These questions help your child to take ownership of their learning, rather than waiting for you to point everything out to them. 

End with Specific and Positive Reinforcement 

Make your praise specific to the actions your child took. 

• ‘You delivered your apology privately and calmly. That was a great way to restore dignity.’ 

• ‘You replaced the item on time. That is how you rebuild trust.’ 

By praising the action and not the personality, you help your child to link your positive feedback directly to their behaviour. 

A calm and structured review process teaches children that after a mistake, the door always leads to learning and closure, not to endless guilt or shame. 

Spiritual Insight 

Looking Ahead to Tomorrow 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hashar (59), Verse 18: 

‘All those of you who are believers, seek piety from Allah (Almighty); and let every person anticipate (the consequences of) what they have sent forth (in the Hereafter) for the next day; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty); as indeed, Allah (Almighty) is fully Cognisant with all your actions.’ 

This verse reminds us to reflect after our actions, checking what we did well and what must change for the future. The family review process mirrors this Qur’anic call to accountability. We remember the slip-up, we notice the repair that was made, and we prepare effective safeguards for tomorrow. 

True Strength Lies in Self-Control 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 1317, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong man is not the good wrestler; the strong man is only the one who controls himself when he is angry.’ 

This hadith teaches that true strength is found in calm self-mastery and steady follow-through, not in harsh outbursts or displays of power. By calmly and consistently reviewing repairs with your child, you are modelling this Prophetic strength of self-control and guiding them to link their own power to a sense of responsibility.