How can I help them apologise to a friend they ghosted? 

Parenting Perspective 

Ghosting often happens when a child feels awkward, overwhelmed, or afraid of facing a conflict. However, prolonged silence can be very hurtful to friendships, leaving the other person feeling confused, rejected, or unimportant. Your role is to help your child face this situation with humility, choose the right words for an apology, and re-enter the friendship with honesty rather than avoidance. 

Step 1: Reframe Ghosting as Unfinished Communication 

Begin by explaining the impact of their silence. You can say, ‘Not replying to someone does not make a problem go away; it often just makes the other person feel forgotten. The way to repair this is by being honest, even if it feels awkward.’ This helps to shift their mindset from self-protection to taking responsibility. 

Step 2: Coach a Short and Direct Apology Message 

Children often feel the need to overcompensate with long, rambling explanations. It is better to keep the apology simple and sincere. 

• ‘I am so sorry I stopped replying. I was feeling overwhelmed, but I should have told you that. I would really like to reconnect if you are open to it.’ 

• ‘I disappeared instead of just saying I needed some space. That was unfair to you, and I am sorry.’ 

Short, honest words show respect and avoid the appearance of making excuses. 

Step 3: Practise the Tone and Timing 

Guide your child to send their message at a calm and appropriate moment, not late at night or during a school lesson. Role-playing the message once can help them hear how it sounds and deliver it with a steady, respectful tone. 

Step 4: Gracefully Accept the Friend’s Response 

Explain to your child that their friend may feel hurt, need some time, or may not wish to continue the friendship. It is important to prepare your child with a respectful reply for any outcome. 

• If they are forgiven: ‘Thank you for understanding. I promise I will be clearer with you next time.’ 

• If the friend is hesitant: ‘I completely understand. I will give you some space.’ 

This teaches them that a sincere repair involves accepting the outcome with dignity, whatever it may be. 

Step 5: Build a Prevention Step for the Future 

Suggest a practical safeguard to help your child avoid ghosting again in the future. 

• Sending a simple, one-line message if they need space: ‘I cannot talk much this week, but I am thinking of you.’ 

• Setting a 24-hour reminder to reply to important messages. 

• Agreeing on a short script they can use for difficult conversations. 

Closing your conversation with reassurance is key: ‘You are loved here. Mistakes in friendships are normal. What really matters is learning how to face them and choosing honesty over silence.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Honour Lies in Truthful Words 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tawbah (9), Verse 119: 

‘O you who are believers, seek piety from Allah (Almighty) and (always) be in the company of the truthful (people).’ 

This verse reminds us that truthfulness is a cornerstone of faith and a key ingredient in healing relationships. Encourage your child to view their apology not just as a social courtesy, but as an act of truthfulness for the sake of Allah Almighty. By admitting their fault with honesty, they are choosing to stand in the company of the truthful. 

Do Not Abandon Your Brother 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6077, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is not permissible for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three days, each of them turning away from the other when they meet. The better of them is the one who is the first to initiate the greeting of peace.’ 

This hadith teaches that prolonged silence and abandonment are harmful to the sacred bond of brotherhood. You can show your child that ghosting is a modern form of this forsaking, and that the Sunnah is to be the one who takes the first step back towards reconnection, whether with a greeting, an apology, or a simple message.