What helps when my child stole a sweet and wants to return it? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child takes something that does not belong to them, even an item as small as a sweet, it can feel alarming for a parent. You may worry about their honesty or about whether this behaviour will become a habit. However, the fact that your child feels guilty and wants to return it is a very positive sign. It shows that their conscience is active and that they are ready to learn about responsibility and making amends. This is a golden opportunity to teach them about honesty, ownership, and integrity in a way that will strengthen their character. 

See Their Guilt as an Opening for Growth 

A child’s feeling of guilt signals that they understand their action was wrong. You can begin by acknowledging this. 

• ‘I am glad that you are feeling sorry, because it means you care about doing the right thing.’ 

• ‘Everyone makes mistakes. What matters most is how we choose to put them right.’ 

This sets the stage for a process of repair, rather than one of shame. 

Teach a Clear Path for Repair 

You can guide your child through three practical steps to make the situation right. 

1. Admit the mistake honestly: Encourage them to say, ‘I took this without asking, and I should not have done that.’ 

2. Return or replace the item: If possible, you should go with them to the shop to return it. If the sweet has already been eaten, you can help them to replace it with something from their own money or allowance. 

3. Apologise respectfully: A simple apology is best: ‘I am sorry that I took this without permission. I will make sure it does not happen again.’ 

Model a Respectful Script Through Role-Play 

A child may feel very nervous about facing a shopkeeper or the person they took from. You can role-play the situation with them at home to help them rehearse. 

Parent (as the shopkeeper): ‘Can I help you?’ 

Child: ‘I took this sweet earlier without paying for it. I am very sorry, and I want to return it.’ 

Parent: ‘Thank you for being so honest. That was the right thing to do.’ 

Keep Consequences Fair and Constructive 

While you may feel the need to apply a consequence, such as reducing their pocket money, it is important to keep it proportionate and to avoid harsh shaming. The consequence should be directly linked to the behaviour so that the lesson feels meaningful. 

Encourage Reflection Afterwards 

When everyone’s emotions have calmed down, you can guide your child in some quiet reflection. 

• ‘What was it that made you want to take it in the first place?’ 

• ‘How did it feel in your heart afterwards?’ 

• ‘What could you do if you feel tempted to do that again?’ 

Praise Their Effort to Make Amends 

Even if the apology feels awkward, it is vital that you praise their courage: ‘I am so proud of you for choosing to return that. It took real strength to do that.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Supporting your child after they have taken something is about far more than just correcting a misbehaviour. It is about teaching them that integrity means admitting our wrongs, making amends, and seeking forgiveness. By linking this moment to the Quran and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, you can show them that honesty is both a family value and a divine command. 

Returning What Is Not Yours Is an Obligation 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 188: 

‘And do not consume each other’s wealth inequitably, or present it (as a bribe) to the sovereign ruler, so that (the sovereign ruler may aid you) in consuming (further) wealth of the people inequitably, whilst you are fully aware (of your wrongful actions).’ 

This verse teaches us that taking what does not belong to us, no matter how small, is an act of injustice. By returning the sweet and apologising, your child is learning to live by the Quranic principle of respecting the rights of others. 

True Strength Is in Owning Our Mistakes 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1623, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer may have a natural disposition towards some mistakes, but he will not be treacherous or lie.’ 

This hadith shows that while everyone makes mistakes, a true believer does not cling to dishonesty. When your child admits what they did and returns what they took, they are showing the courage and honesty that are signs of true faith. Over time, your child will learn that the true sweetness is found not in what is taken unfairly, but in the courage to do what is right.