What can my child say to a teacher after hiding a poor grade? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child hides a poor grade, it is usually because they are feeling ashamed, afraid of disappointing the adults in their life, or worried about being judged. While you may feel upset that they were dishonest, the fact that they are now ready to face the situation is a sign of growth. Helping your child to admit the truth to their teacher in a respectful way will not only strengthen their character, but also help to build trust with their teacher and teach them resilience in handling setbacks. 

Understand Why Children Hide Poor Grades 

A child may hide a grade for several reasons. 

• Fear of punishment: They may be worried that their parents will be angry with them. 

• Embarrassment: They might be comparing themselves to their classmates and feeling inadequate. 

• Avoidance: They may be hoping that if no one knows about the grade, the problem will simply disappear. 

• Pressure to succeed: They may have linked their self-worth too closely to their academic results. 

Teach Them a Respectful Script 

You can help your child to practise some simple, honest words that they can use when they speak to their teacher. 

• ‘I received a low grade on the test, and I tried to hide it. I am sorry, and I want to improve.’ 

• ‘I was embarrassed about my result, but I know that hiding it was the wrong thing to do. Can you help me to do better next time?’ 

• ‘I did not do well, and I should have told you. Is there anything I can work on to improve?’ 

Use Role-Play to Build Confidence 

You can rehearse the conversation with your child before they have to face their teacher. 

Parent (as the teacher): ‘Why did you not tell me about this grade earlier?’ 

Child: ‘I was feeling embarrassed, but I should have told you. I want to learn how to do better.’ 

Parent: ‘Thank you for being honest with me now. Let’s look at how you can improve.’ 

Guide Them to Make Amends 

Encourage your child not just to apologise, but to take action. 

• Apologise for hiding the grade: ‘I am sorry that I did not show you my grade.’ 

• Acknowledge the mistake: ‘I know that was not an honest thing to do.’ 

• Ask for help: ‘Can you give me some advice on how I can improve in this subject?’ 

Focus on Effort, Not Perfection 

It is important to reassure your child at home: ‘I do not expect you to get perfect scores all the time. I only expect you to be honest and to try your best.’ This helps your child to view their grades as learning tools, rather than as a measure of their self-worth. 

Reflect on the Experience Afterwards 

Once the conversation with the teacher is over, you can ask your child: ‘How did it feel to tell the truth in the end?’, or, ‘What did your teacher say that helped you?’ This reflection helps to build their courage and makes the act of being honest feel more rewarding. 

Spiritual Insight 

Helping your child to apologise and admit a poor grade is about more than just their school performance. It is about teaching them that honesty preserves their dignity, builds trust, and is aligned with their faith. By equipping them with respectful words and linking the lesson to the Quran and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, you can nurture in them an understanding that mistakes can be forgiven, but honesty is what keeps our hearts strong and our relationships intact. 

Truthfulness Is a Part of Taqwa 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ahzaab (33), Verse 70: 

‘O those of you, who are believers, seek piety from Allah (Almighty) and always speak with words of blatant accuracy.’ 

This verse reminds us that speaking truthfully is an act of God-consciousness (taqwa). Teaching your child to admit a poor grade honestly, even when it feels embarrassing, is a way of training them to live by this important principle. 

Honesty Builds Character 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4989, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Hold fast to truth, for truth leads to virtue, and virtue leads to Paradise and beware of falsehood, for falsehood leads to sin, and sin leads to the Fire.’ 

This hadith reminds us that every act of honesty, even about something like a poor grade, helps to build a righteous character. For your child, confessing respectfully to their teacher is more than just a school matter; it is a form of training in their faith and character.