What can we do if my child regrets excluding someone from a game? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child excludes another child from a game and later feels a sense of regret, it is a sign that they are developing empathy and a conscience. Guiding your child through this regret is not just about repairing a single incident, but about shaping their character to value fairness and kindness in the long term. 

See Their Regret as a Readiness to Grow 

Your child’s feeling of regret is an encouraging sign. It shows that their heart is sensitive enough to notice when they have hurt someone. Instead of rushing to scold them, you can affirm their feeling first. 

• ‘I can see that you feel sorry about leaving them out of the game.’ 

• ‘It is good that you have noticed that. It means that you have a kind heart.’ 

This gives your child the courage to face their mistake with a sense of responsibility. 

Teach Simple Steps for Repair 

Help your child to understand that when we exclude someone, we need to take steps to repair the relationship. You can walk them through this simple process. 

1. Apologise clearly: ‘I am sorry I did not let you join our game. That was not fair of me.’ 

2. Acknowledge the hurt: ‘I know it must have felt bad to be left out.’ 

3. Offer inclusion: ‘Would you like to come and play with us now?’ 

Practise Together at Home 

Role-playing can help a child to gain confidence in apologising. You could pretend to be the excluded friend, and let your child practise different phrases. For example: 

Parent: ‘Why did you not let me play with you earlier?’ 

Child: ‘I am sorry. I should have let you join in. Do you want to play now?’ 

Parent: ‘Thank you for saying that. It makes me feel much better.’ 

Teach the Value of Inclusion 

Explain to your child why being inclusive is so important. You can use simple questions to encourage them to reflect. 

• ‘How do you feel when other children do not let you join in with their game?’ 

• ‘And how does it feel when someone invites you to be included?’ 

This helps them to connect their own emotions to the feelings of others. 

Support Positive Peer Habits 

If exclusion is becoming a repeated issue, you can help your child to find practical ways to set healthy boundaries without hurting others. For example, if a game has a limited number of roles, you can suggest that they: 

• Offer to take turns. 

• Try to create extra roles so that no one is left out. 

• Suggest playing a different game that can include everyone. 

Praise Their Efforts to Repair 

When your child makes an effort to apologise or to include someone, be sure to acknowledge it: ‘I saw how you invited the new person to join your game. That was a very thoughtful and kind thing to do.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that our faith is not only about our acts of worship, but also about how warmly we treat other people. Welcoming others and making them feel safe, respected, and part of the community is a beautiful reflection of our faith. 

Brotherhood and Unity Are a Part of Faith 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.’ 

This verse shows us that Islam calls us to unity and fairness. Teaching your child to apologise and to include others after they have been left out connects directly to the Quranic value of brotherhood and mercy. 

Good Manners Mean Making Others Feel Welcome 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 66, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.’ 

This hadith reminds us that true faith is deeply tied to empathy. By guiding your child to be inclusive, you are teaching them to practise this hadith in their daily lives; to want for their friend the same joy and belonging that they want for themselves. Including others in their play then becomes not just a social act, but a sign of true faith and good character. 

By giving your child practical scripts, guiding them to repair hurt feelings, and linking their actions to the teachings of the Quran and the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, you show them that kindness is both a social responsibility and a spiritual duty.