What should my child do when they broke a borrowed toy at a playdate? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child breaks a borrowed toy during a playdate, it can feel like a nightmare for both the child and the parent. You might worry about their manners or upsetting another family, while your child may feel embarrassed, guilty, or even panicked. This is a powerful teaching moment, giving your child the chance to learn about responsibility, honesty, and the art of making amends. 

Acknowledge the Mistake Calmly 

The first and most important step is to help your child face the situation without fear. You could say: ‘Accidents can happen, but the important thing is that we are always honest and we try to make it right.’ By setting a calm tone, you show your child that while mistakes have consequences, they are not the end of the world. 

Teach Them the Right Words to Say 

Children often freeze in these situations because they do not know what to say. You can give them a simple script to use with confidence. 

• ‘I am so sorry, I have broken your toy by mistake.’ 

• ‘I did not mean for that to happen, but I should have been more careful.’ 

• ‘How can I help to fix this?’ 

Role-playing these words at home can give them the confidence to act responsibly if something goes wrong in the future. 

Guide Them to Repair or Replace the Item 

Explain that a sincere apology is not just about words, but also about actions. 

• Offer to repair: If the toy can be fixed, you can suggest helping to glue or mend it together. 

• Offer to replace: If a repair is not possible, you should offer to buy a new one. Involve your child in this process by allowing them to contribute from their own pocket money or by accompanying you to the shop to purchase a replacement. 

• Make amends through kindness: A small gesture, like offering to share one of their own favourite toys, can also show sincerity. 

Guide Them Through the Social Awkwardness 

Breaking something in front of others can be embarrassing. Teach your child that being honest in that moment is what earns respect. Hiding the truth will only make things worse when the damage is discovered later. You can model this behaviour by saying to the other parent, ‘We are so sorry about the toy. It was an accident, but of course we will make sure to replace it.’ 

Help Them to Process the Emotions Afterwards 

After the playdate, you can reflect with your child on what happened. 

• ‘How did you feel when the toy broke?’ 

• ‘How do you think your friend was feeling?’ 

• ‘What could you do differently next time to be more careful?’ 

Praise Their Courage, Not Just the Outcome 

Even if the other family seems upset, it is important to praise your child’s effort in apologising and taking responsibility: ‘I am so proud that you owned up to your mistake. That took real courage.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that being entrusted with something, even a toy, carries a responsibility. Breaking it and admitting the mistake honestly helps to preserve trust, while hiding it would be a form of betrayal. Helping your child to apologise and make amends allows them to live by the Quranic value of honesty and to embody the prophetic standard of causing no harm to others. 

Honesty Protects the Trust (Amanah) 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verse 27: 

‘O you who are believers, do not ever be pretentious (in following the commandment) of Allah (Almighty) and His Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ); and do not misappropriate what has been entrusted upon you…’ 

This verse reminds us that we have a duty to look after the things that are entrusted to us. 

Seeking Forgiveness Restores Peace 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 4999, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe.’ 

This hadith teaches that a true Muslim is one who causes no harm to others, whether through their words or their actions. If any harm does occur, they must seek forgiveness and do their best to restore peace. 

Teaching your child what to do after breaking a borrowed toy is about far more than just avoiding embarrassment. It helps to shape their sense of honesty, empathy, and accountability. Linking these actions to their Islamic principles helps them to see that making amends is not just a polite thing to do, but an act of worship and integrity.