How do I handle eye-rolling and sighing without escalating? 

Parenting Perspective 

Eye-rolling, sighing, and groaning are often a child’s way of showing frustration without using words. They may feel tired of their chores, annoyed at the limits you have set, or simply overwhelmed by being told what to do. While these behaviours are normal, they can quickly irritate a parent. A small roll of the eyes can feel deeply disrespectful, and it can be tempting to react sharply with, ‘Do not you dare roll your eyes at me!’ Unfortunately, this response often turns a small gesture into a major conflict. 

The goal is to address the behaviour calmly without escalating the tension. A child needs to learn how to express themselves respectfully, but they also need space to feel and release their emotions without constant correction. By staying calm and modelling respectful communication, you can turn these moments into teaching opportunities instead of battles. 

Step 1: Stay Calm and Neutral 

Reacting angrily to these behaviours often just fuels the drama. Instead, it is more effective to pause and respond in a calm, measured tone: ‘I saw your reaction just then. Let’s talk about what you are feeling.’ This shows them that you have noticed their behaviour, but you are not going to be provoked into an argument. 

Step 2: Name the Behaviour Without Shaming 

Point out what happened without using loaded labels like ‘rude’ or ‘disrespectful’. For example: ‘I noticed that you rolled your eyes just now.’ Describing the action, rather than making an accusation, helps to keep the tone of the conversation non-confrontational. 

Step 3: Teach Respectful Alternatives 

You can offer your child specific scripts to use when they are feeling frustrated. 

• Instead of eye-rolling, they could say: ‘I feel tired; can I have a short break?’ 

• Instead of sighing loudly, they could say: ‘This feels a bit hard for me right now.’ 

Giving them the right words provides a healthier outlet for their feelings. 

Step 4: Allow Space for Small Emotional Releases 

Sometimes, a sigh is simply a natural release of emotion, not an act of rebellion. You can teach your child: ‘It is okay to feel frustrated. What matters most is how you choose to show it.’ This helps to build their emotional intelligence and avoids the pitfall of punishing every small display of emotion. 

Step 5: Address the Pattern Later, if Needed 

If eye-rolling becomes a frequent habit, you can talk about it during a calm moment: ‘When you roll your eyes at me, it makes me feel like you are not listening. Can we agree to try to use our words instead?’ Addressing the issue later, rather than in the heat of the moment, reduces defensiveness. 

Step 6: Praise Their Respectful Efforts 

Make a point of noticing when your child chooses to use words instead of gestures: ‘I really appreciate that you told me you were frustrated instead of just rolling your eyes. That shows real maturity.’ 

Mini Dialogue Example 

Child: [Rolls their eyes and sighs loudly] 

Parent: ‘I can see that you are frustrated. Can you try to put it into words for me?’ 

Child: ‘…I just feel like I always get given the boring jobs.’ 

Parent: ‘Thank you for telling me that with your words. That is a much better way to explain how you are feeling.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us to guard our tongues, control our reactions, and treat others with dignity, especially within the family. Even small gestures like sighing and eye-rolling can harm the respect in a relationship if they are left unchecked, but responding with gentleness and patience can prevent a situation from escalating. 

The Virtue of Restraining Anger 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 134: 

‘Those (the believers are the ones) that spend (in the way of Allah Almighty) in times of abundance and hardship; they suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.’ 

You can explain: ‘Allah loves it when we hold back our feelings of anger. Staying calm when you feel like sighing or rolling your eyes is a part of being a strong person.’ 

True Strength Lies in Self-Control 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 1317, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong man is not the one who can overpower others, but the strong man is the one who controls himself when angry.’ 

For a child, this means: ‘Being strong is not about fighting back or having the last word. True strength is about being able to calm yourself down when you feel upset, and choosing to use respectful words instead of rolling your eyes.’ 

By grounding the principle of respectful expression in their faith, you show your child that self-control is not about being silenced, but about gaining inner strength and earning the love of Allah.