How do I encourage my child to return borrowed items promptly? 

Parenting Perspective 

Borrowing is a normal part of childhood, whether it is a pencil from a classmate, a book from the library, or a toy from a cousin. However, children often forget, delay, or even try to hide borrowed items simply because they are enjoying using them. While this may seem harmless at first, it can build habits of carelessness and can weaken the trust between friends and family. Teaching your child to return borrowed items promptly is about far more than just tidiness; it is about building honesty, respect for others’ property, and a sense of responsibility that will serve them throughout their lives. 

The difficulty for a child is that the joy of using a borrowed item can often outweigh their sense of obligation. A pencil in a school bag is easily forgotten, a library book blends in with their own on the shelf, or a borrowed toy begins to feel like their own after a few days. As a parent, your role is to help make the act of returning items a clear and proud habit, something that feels satisfying, not burdensome. 

Explain Why Returning Items Matters 

Start by making the principle clear and simple: ‘When you borrow something from someone, it is not yours to keep. Returning it promptly shows respect for the person who trusted you enough to lend it to you.’ 

Teach the Connection Between Trust and Promptness 

Help your child to understand that being prompt in returning items is what protects the trust between people. You could say: ‘If you return things quickly, people will know that they can trust you. If you delay or forget, they may stop wanting to lend you their things in the future.’ 

Build a ‘Prompt Return’ Routine 

You can create a family habit around any borrowed items that come into your home. 

• Place them in a designated ‘return basket’ by the door. 

• Attach a sticky note with the name of the person they belong to. 

• Do a weekly check of the basket to see what needs to be returned. 

Encourage Pride in Being Prompt 

When your child remembers to return something on their own, offer specific praise: ‘I noticed that you put the book back in your school bag ready to give to your friend tomorrow. That shows great responsibility and respect.’ This helps to build their identity as a trustworthy person. 

Use Role-Play to Practise Borrowing and Returning 

Act out different scenarios at home. You can borrow a pen from your child and make a point of returning it promptly, saying, ‘Thank you so much for letting me use this.’ Then, switch roles so they can experience how good it feels when someone returns their belongings quickly and with gratitude. 

Address Delays Kindly but Firmly 

If your child resists giving something back, you can say: ‘I know you have enjoyed playing with it, but keeping it for longer than you should is unfair. We can think about saving up for one of our own, but this one must go back to its owner now.’ 

Mini Dialogue Example 

Child: ‘But I want to keep the toy for a little longer.’ 

Parent: ‘I understand that you have enjoyed it, but it belongs to your cousin. Returning it now shows that you are respectful, and then we can think about getting one for you in the future.’ 

Child: ‘…So if I give it back, I am showing that I can be trusted?’ 

Parent: ‘Exactly. And that is what makes people happy to share with you again.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a great emphasis on fulfilling our trusts (amanah). Returning borrowed items promptly is a part of being honest, and honesty is at the very core of our faith. Teaching a child to return what they borrow is not just about good manners; it is about worship and accountability before Allah. 

Fulfilling Our Commitments 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 34: 

‘…And fulfil all your promises, as indeed, you will be questioned about all the promises that you have made (in this life).’ 

You can explain: ‘Allah tells us in the Quran that we must always keep our promises. When you borrow something from someone, you are making a silent promise to return it. On the Day of Judgement, Allah will ask us about these commitments.’ 

The Seriousness of Borrowed Items 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 3935, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Return the trust to the one who entrusted you, and do not betray the one who betrayed you.’ 

For a child, this means: ‘Even if other people sometimes forget to return your things, you must always make sure to return what you have borrowed. Allah loves those who keep their trusts.’ 

By linking borrowed items to the concept of amanah, your child begins to see the act of returning things not as a small chore, but as a matter of honesty before Allah. Over time, they will learn that returning items promptly protects the trust they have with people and strengthens their sense of accountability with their Creator.