How do I handle night-time sneaking of devices after lights-out? 

Parenting Perspective 

Many parents find themselves frustrated upon discovering that their child has been sneaking a phone, tablet, or games console after bedtime. It can feel like a betrayal of trust and can create late-night battles that affect the child’s sleep and well-being. The temptation for children is strong, as screens provide entertainment, connection with friends, and a sense of independence. Your role is to guide them towards healthy boundaries, teach self-control, and preserve trust without turning your home into a battleground. 

Understand Why Children Sneak Devices 

A child may secretly use a device at night for several common reasons. 

• A craving for entertainment: They want ‘just one more game’ or to watch one more video. 

• Fear of missing out (FOMO): They feel they might miss out on group chats or social media updates. 

• Testing limits: They are curious to see if the rules can be bent when parents are not watching. 

• Difficulty switching off: Screens can overstimulate the brain, making it harder to fall asleep. 

Set Clear and Predictable Boundaries 

Make the rule simple, clear, and consistent: ‘After lights-out, all electronic devices must stay outside the bedroom.’ Provide a central charging station in a shared family space, such as the living room or kitchen, where all phones and tablets are placed every night. When the rule is clear and enforced daily, sneaking becomes much more difficult. 

Use Natural Consequences 

Instead of imposing heavy punishments, try to link the consequences directly to the behaviour. 

• Tiredness the next day: Talk to them about how sneaking their device has resulted in a poor night’s rest. 

• Temporary restriction: If the sneaking continues, you can reduce their access to the device during the day until trust is rebuilt. 

• Earning trust back: Allow them more independence only when they have shown they can be consistently honest. 

Offer Alternatives for Winding Down 

Children sometimes sneak devices because they struggle to relax and switch off their minds. You can help by offering calming, screen-free options. 

• A small bedside lamp with a book to read. 

• An audio story or a recording of Quran recitation. 

• A drawing pad or a journal. 

Have a Calm Conversation, Not a Battle 

Instead of having an angry confrontation at midnight, it is more effective to address the issue the next day when everyone is calm. You could say: ‘I found you using your tablet after lights-out last night, which breaks our family rule. I want to understand what made you feel you needed to sneak it, and then we can make a plan to stop it from happening again.’ 

Mini Dialogue Example 

Child: ‘I just wanted to play one more level of my game.’ 

Parent: ‘I understand that feeling. But sneaking the device breaks our rule and makes you feel tired the next day. Devices must stay outside your room at night. Let’s think of another way for you to relax before you go to sleep.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches the importance of moderation, discipline, and honesty. These values apply directly to how we use modern technology. While devices are useful tools, they can conflict with the sense of balance that Islam encourages when they interrupt our rest or lead to secretive behaviour. 

The Principle of Balance and Moderation 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 67: 

‘And it is those people that do not spend extravagantly, nor miserly; and (act in such a way) that is a balanced format between these two (extreme characteristics).’ 

This verse teaches the value of balance in all aspects of our lives. You can explain this to your child by saying: ‘Using devices is fine, but sneaking them at night is going beyond a healthy balance. Allah loves it when we use things at the right time and in the right way.’ 

The Importance of Truthfulness and Trust 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6094, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man continues to tell the truth until he is recorded with Allah as a truthful person.’ 

For a child, this can be simplified: ‘When you are honest about using your device, Allah loves that truthfulness. Sneaking it at night breaks the trust between us, and it also affects your honesty in the sight of Allah.’ 

By connecting your bedtime device rules to these principles of faith, you teach your child that discipline and honesty are acts of worship. Over time, they will learn that trust is stronger than secrecy, and that a restful night is far more rewarding than hidden screen time.