How can I address blaming the teacher for work they did not attempt? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child blames their teacher for not completing their schoolwork, saying things like, ‘She did not explain it properly,’ or, ‘He gave us too much homework,’ it is often a way of dodging responsibility. While children can sometimes genuinely struggle with instructions, this excuse frequently hides a simple avoidance of effort. Your goal is to help your child to respect their teachers, own their part in their education, and develop resilience when learning feels challenging. 

Understand the Motive Behind the Excuse 

Children may blame their teachers for several underlying reasons. 

• Avoidance: The task feels difficult, so blaming the teacher shifts the attention away from their own lack of effort. 

• Fear of failure: Blaming someone else makes their mistakes feel less personal. 

• Seeking sympathy: They are hoping that you will take their side against the teacher. 

Recognising these motives can help you to balance empathy with accountability. 

Separate Their Feelings from the Facts 

Acknowledge your child’s frustration while gently guiding them back towards an honest assessment of the situation. You could say: ‘I can hear that the work felt very hard for you. But saying it is the teacher’s fault does not show the whole truth. Let’s look together at what part you can do differently.’ 

Teach Personal Responsibility 

Explain that everyone has a role to play in the process of learning. For example: ‘The teacher’s job is to teach, but your job is to try your best. Even if it feels tricky, honesty means admitting what you did not attempt and then asking for help where you need it.’ This shifts the focus from blame to personal effort. 

Encourage Them to Ask for Help Respectfully 

Coach your child in polite and effective ways to ask their teachers for support. 

• ‘I did not understand the question. Could you please explain it again?’ 

• ‘I am finding this part difficult. Could I have another example?’ 

Practise these phrases at home so that your child feels confident enough to use them in the classroom. 

Partner with the Teacher if Necessary 

If your child regularly blames a particular teacher, it may be worth checking in with the teacher quietly. Sometimes, there are genuine learning gaps that need to be addressed. However, you should make it clear to your child: ‘I will always support you, but I will not allow you to use blame as a way of avoiding your work. We can ask for help respectfully if you need it.’ 

Mini Dialogue Example 

Child: ‘I could not do the homework because the teacher did not explain it.’ 

Parent: ‘I understand that it felt hard. But saying it is the teacher’s fault does not help you to learn. Let’s look at which parts you tried and which parts you did not. Then, next time you are in class, you can ask the teacher to explain that part again.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us to show respect for those in authority, to be fair in our speech, and to be accountable for our own actions. Helping your child to avoid blaming their teachers connects their everyday school life to these deeper Islamic values. 

The Importance of Speaking Fairly About Others 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 12: 

‘Those of you who have believed, abstain as much as you can from cynical thinking (about one another); as some of that cynical thinking is a sin; and do not spy (on each other) and do not let some of you backbite against others; would one of you like to eat the meat of his mortally expired brother? Not at all – you would find it repulsive…’ 

This verse can be explained simply: ‘Blaming your teacher unfairly is like speaking badly about them without knowing the full truth. Allah wants us to always speak fairly and honestly about other people.’ 

Effort Is the Child’s Responsibility 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2664, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not give up.’ 

For a child, this can be simplified: ‘Allah loves it when you try your best and ask Him for help, instead of giving up or blaming other people for your difficulties.’ 

By teaching your child that blaming their teachers is both unfair and unhelpful, you guide them towards honesty, effort, and respect. Over time, they will learn that challenges at school are not solved by making excuses, but by perseverance, respectful communication, and a sincere trust in Allah.