How do I respond when a child says ‘I forgot’ as a cover for not trying? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child uses the phrase, ‘I forgot,’ as an excuse, it often signals avoidance rather than genuine forgetfulness. They may be embarrassed about not wanting to try a task, or they may simply hope the phrase will bring the conversation to a quick end. While true forgetfulness is natural for children, the repeated use of ‘I forgot’ to dodge responsibility can prevent them from learning the value of effort and accountability. The goal is not to shame the child, but to help them recognise the difference between forgetting and avoiding. 

Distinguish Between Forgetfulness and Avoidance 

You can ask gentle, curious questions to help uncover the truth behind their words. 

• ‘Did you really forget, or did it feel a bit too hard to start?’ 

• ‘Were you busy doing something else and just did not feel like stopping?’ 

These questions encourage your child to reflect honestly rather than hiding behind a convenient phrase. 

Teach Responsibility with Support 

Instead of scolding them, guide them to see that making an effort is possible, especially with your help. You could say: ‘I understand it felt easier to say you forgot. But if you tell me that a task feels difficult, I can always help you. Let’s try it together now.’ This shifts the focus from making an excuse to taking positive action. 

Build Memory Cues and Routines 

Sometimes, ‘I forgot’ is the simple truth. You can support your child by creating practical tools that make remembering easier. 

• Use sticky notes or reminder cards for important tasks. 

• Set timers or alarms on a clock as a helpful signal. 

• Tie tasks to established routines, for example, ‘After lunch, you always put your plate in the sink.’ 

Praise Effort, Not Just Completion 

A child may avoid a task because they are afraid of not being good enough at it. Show them that their effort matters more than the final result by saying: ‘I am so proud that you tried your best, even if it was not perfect.’ This reduces their temptation to escape through excuses. 

Mini Dialogue Example 

Child: ‘I forgot to do my homework.’ 

Parent: ‘I know that sometimes it can feel easier to say you forgot. Was it that you found it too difficult, or that you did not want to stop playing?’ 

Child: ‘…I did not want to do it.’ 

Parent: ‘Thank you for telling me the truth. That is much better than pretending. Let’s do a small part of it now, and we can finish the rest together later.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that making excuses should not become a habit, and that taking responsibility and making an effort are important parts of faith. By linking effort with trust in Allah, a child can learn that honesty and perseverance are far more rewarding than hiding behind the phrase, ‘I forgot.’ 

Effort Is Always Seen and Rewarded 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Najam (53), Verses 39-40: 

‘And they shall be nothing (to account) for mankind except what he has undertaken; and indeed, whatever he has undertaken, you shall very soon observe it.’ 

This verse is a beautiful reminder for a child that Allah sees every little effort they make. You can explain: ‘Allah does not ask us to be perfect, only that we try our best. Saying “I forgot” when we did not really try hides the very effort that Allah loves to see.’ 

Owning Mistakes Is a Sign of Strength 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2609, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who overcomes others. The strong person is the one who controls himself when angry.’ 

The principle of this hadith can be extended to teach a child about inner strength. You could say: ‘True strength is not just about controlling your anger, but also about having the self-control to tell the truth about a mistake instead of hiding behind an excuse. That honesty makes you a much stronger person in the eyes of Allah.’ 

By linking responsibility to faith, you show your child that Allah values effort and honesty far more than perfection and excuses. Over time, they will learn that ‘I forgot’ is not a shield to hide behind, and that admitting the truth and making an effort, even in small steps, is what earns them respect, trust, and reward from both their parents and from Allah.