What do I say when my child lies to avoid a short, harmless task? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child lies to avoid a brief, harmless task, such as tidying their toys or putting away their shoes, it can feel unnecessarily frustrating. A parent might wonder, ‘Why lie about something that takes less than a minute?’ For a child, however, the lie is rarely about the task itself. It is usually about avoiding an interruption to their play, protecting their time, or simply experimenting with how far they can stretch the truth. This small moment offers a rich opportunity to teach honesty, responsibility, and the importance of trust. 

Recognise the Motive Behind the Lie 

Children may tell a fib about minor responsibilities for several reasons. 

• Avoidance: The task feels boring when compared to what they are currently doing. 

• Testing limits: They are curious to see if their parents will notice or follow up. 

• Short-term escape: A quick lie seems easier in the moment than doing the job. 

• Fear of being scolded: They may assume that admitting the truth will lead to disapproval. 

Viewing the behaviour as developmental rather than defiant allows you to guide them gently instead of reacting with anger. 

Stay Calm and Avoid a Harsh Confrontation 

Instead of reacting with frustration, it is more effective to address the situation in a calm, matter-of-fact way. You could say: ‘I can see the toys are still here, so it looks like you forgot. Let’s do it quickly together now.’ This response keeps the focus on the behaviour that needs correcting, rather than making the child feel defensive. 

Teach the Value of Truth in Small Matters 

Children need to understand that lies, even about tiny things, can affect the trust between people. You can explain it like this: ‘When you tell me you have done something but it is not true, it makes it harder for me to believe you next time. But when you tell me the truth, even if you have not done it yet, I know that I can always trust your words.’ 

Encourage Honesty by Making It Safe 

To prevent repeated lying, you must make it safe for your child to be honest. If they admit they have not yet done the task, respond with encouragement: ‘Thank you for telling me the truth. Now, let’s get it done quickly together.’ This separates the mistake from their character and makes honesty the easier option for them in the future. 

Use Motivation and Fun to Reduce Resistance 

Since children often lie to escape boring tasks, turning those chores into a game can help to reduce their resistance. 

• Use a timer: ‘Let’s see if you can tidy up all the books in under two minutes!’ 

• Create a challenge: ‘Can you put away five toys before I count to ten?’ 

• Offer choices: ‘Would you like to put away the books first, or the building blocks?’ 

Praise Honesty and Effort 

Make sure to highlight their positive behaviour by saying: ‘I am so proud that you told me you had not done it yet. That shows great honesty,’ or, ‘I really like how quickly you finished that once we got started.’ 

Mini Dialogue Example 

Child: ‘I already put my shoes away.’ (The shoes are still on the floor). 

Parent: ‘I can see the shoes are still here, so maybe you just forgot. It is always okay to tell me the truth; that way, I know I can trust your words. Let’s put them away together now. It will only take a minute.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, truthfulness is not just about avoiding major lies; it is a way of life that is encouraged in every action and word. Teaching your child to be honest, even about small and mundane tasks, connects them to this central value of our faith. 

Truth Is Always Better 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ahzaab (33), Verse 70: 

‘O those of you, who are believers, seek piety from Allah (Almighty) and always speak with words of blatant accuracy.’ 

You can explain this to your child by saying: ‘Allah wants us to always speak the truth, even about small things like our chores. Every honest word we speak makes Allah happy and keeps our hearts feeling clean and bright.’ 

Honesty Leads to Righteousness 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 46, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Adhere to truthfulness, for truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise and beware of lying, for lying leads to immorality, and immorality leads to the Fire.’ 

This hadith can be simplified for children: ‘Every time you tell the truth, you are taking a step closer to Jannah. Every time you tell a lie, even about a little thing, it takes you in the wrong direction.’ 

By connecting honesty to both their faith and their daily life, you show your child that telling the truth is not just a family rule but a form of worship. They learn that small lies about small chores are not harmless, because they are the things that shape our character. Every time a child chooses honesty, they are building righteousness and strengthening their bond of trust with both people and with Allah.