How can I connect rejection to trying again, not giving up? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child faces rejection, whether from their peers, at school, or in an activity they value, it can feel deeply discouraging. Parents often see their child withdraw and say, ‘I do not want to try again,’ and worry that the experience will damage their confidence. It is important to remember that rejection is a normal part of life, and what matters most is how we help children to frame it. Your role is to gently connect the pain of rejection with the strength of resilience, showing them that setbacks are often stepping stones to future growth. 

Normalise Rejection as Part of Learning 

Children sometimes believe that being rejected is proof that they are ‘not good enough’. You can counter this by explaining that rejection is a part of everyone’s journey towards success. 

• Share stories of famous inventors who failed many times or athletes who lost crucial matches before finding success. 

• Talk about your own small experiences of not being chosen but deciding to try again. 

• You could say: ‘Remember when you could not ride your bike the first time? You did not give up, and now you ride with confidence. Rejection is like that. It is not the end; it is just a step.’ 

Separate Their Identity from the Outcome 

Make it clear that a rejection is an event; it does not define who your child is as a person. You can say: ‘You are still the same wonderful, kind, and clever person, even if someone said no today. Their choice does not change your true worth.’ This helps a child to understand that rejection is about a situation, not their entire identity. 

Reframe Rejection as an Opportunity 

Help your child to see rejection not as a dead end, but as a form of redirection. 

• If they were not chosen for a team, talk about how this creates an opportunity to practise and return even stronger. 

• If a friendship feels distant, explain that sometimes rejection opens up space for new, healthier friendships to grow. 

• You can turn the experience into a question: ‘What can we learn from this? What might we try differently next time?’ 

Offer Practical Steps for Building Resilience 

• Acknowledge their emotions: Before anything else, let your child feel sad or cry, and validate their feelings. 

• Reflect gently: Once they are calm, ask what they might have learned from the experience. 

• Set a small next goal: Encourage one practical action, such as practising a skill or reaching out to another friend. 

• Celebrate their effort: Praise their willingness to try again, even if success is not immediate. 

Mini Dialogue Example 

Child: ‘They did not pick me. I am never trying out for the team again.’ 

Parent: ‘I can see how hurt you feel. That makes complete sense. But do you remember how you kept practising your spelling words after getting some wrong? Each time you tried, you grew stronger. This is the same. Rejection does not mean you should stop. It means it is time to try again, and next time you will be even better prepared.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Rejection can feel heavy for a child, but Islam reminds us that every disappointment is an opportunity to build patience, trust, and resilience. Linking these lessons to faith gives children both comfort and a sense of meaning when they face difficulties. 

Trust in Allah’s Wisdom in Every Outcome 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 216: 

‘…And perhaps that which you are repelled by (may in fact) be for your betterment; and perhaps that thing which you love to undertake, and that might be bad for you; and (the reality is that) Allah (Almighty) is fully aware of everything that you do not know.’ 

This verse helps children to understand that a rejection is not the final word. Sometimes, Allah Almighty redirects us towards something far better, even if we cannot see it immediately. You might tell your child: ‘When something does not work out, it could be that Allah is protecting you and preparing something else for you.’ 

True Strength Lies in Patience 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 1469, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever remains patient, Allah will make him patient. Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience.’ 

This hadith shows that choosing to be patient after a rejection is in itself a great gift from Allah. Each time they hold steady and resolve to try again, they are receiving a blessing. You can encourage your child by saying: ‘Every time you try again, you are not only becoming stronger, but Allah is also rewarding you for your beautiful patience.’ 

By teaching children that rejection is both a test and an opportunity, you connect their resilience directly to their faith. They learn that: 

• Rejection is not a failure, but a redirection from Allah. 

• Trying again is not only an act of growth but also an act of worship, as it shows patience and trust. 

• Their value is not decided by people’s approval, but by their effort and their relationship with Allah. 

With this foundation, rejection becomes less frightening. It becomes a moment to pause, reflect, trust in Allah’s plan, and step forward again with renewed hope.