How can I admit when I also feel jealous or disappointed sometimes? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children often assume that adults are above common feelings like jealousy or disappointment. When they see you admit to experiencing these emotions in a calm and controlled manner, it reassures them that such feelings are a normal part of being human. It also teaches them how to handle these emotions themselves without resorting to shame or denial. Admitting your own struggles, in an age-appropriate way, makes you more relatable and provides them with a healthy model for emotional honesty. 

Normalise the Feelings as a Human Experience 

Begin by letting your child know that feelings like jealousy and disappointment are not unusual or something to be ashamed of. This shows them that these are shared human experiences, not signs of personal weakness. 

• ‘I also feel disappointed sometimes when things do not work out the way I had hoped.’ 

• ‘It is normal to sometimes feel jealous when we see others doing something we wish we could do.’ 

Keep the Tone Calm and Balanced 

It is important to share your feelings without making them seem heavy or burdensome for your child. The goal is to model healthy processing, not to seek comfort from them. 

• ‘I felt a bit jealous when someone else was chosen for that role, but then I reminded myself of my own unique strengths.’ 

• ‘I was disappointed today, but I know that I can try again tomorrow.’ 

This teaches them that feelings do not need to control our actions or our outlook. 

Connect Your Feelings to Constructive Coping Strategies 

Show your child how you actively deal with jealousy or disappointment in a constructive way. This provides them with practical tools for managing their own emotions. 

• ‘When I feel jealous, I try to focus on what I can do to improve myself.’ 

• ‘When I am disappointed, I usually take a short break and then think about what I can do differently next time.’ 

Keep Your Examples Simple and Age-Appropriate 

Ensure that the examples you share are simple and relatable, so your child does not feel burdened by complex adult problems. 

• Use stories related to hobbies, sports, or small, everyday setbacks. 

• Avoid exposing them to worries about finances or personal relationships that may cause them anxiety. 

Encourage Them to Share in Return 

After you have shared one of your experiences, gently invite your child to talk about their own feelings. This creates a two-way dialogue that builds connection and deepens trust. 

• ‘Have you ever felt jealous like that before?’ 

• ‘What helps you when you are feeling disappointed?’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam acknowledges that jealousy (hasad) and disappointment are natural human emotions, while guiding us to handle them with patience, self-control, and a shift in perspective. By admitting your own feelings, you show your child that faith does not mean suppressing emotions, but rather managing them with wisdom and turning back to Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 32: 

‘And do not begrudge what benefactions have been given by Allah (Almighty), some of you instead of others; for the men is a share of what they have earnt (through their hard work), and for the women, is a share of what they have earnt (through their hard work); and (if you wish for more) ask Allah (Almighty) from His benefactions (to give you more)…’ 

This verse teaches a practical spiritual tool: when feelings of jealousy arise, we should redirect our hearts away from envying others and towards gratitude and asking Allah directly for His blessings. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 1409, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘There is no envy except in two: a man whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it in the right way, and a man whom Allah has given wisdom and he judges by it and teaches it.’ 

This hadith shows that while the feeling of wanting what others have is natural, it should be channelled constructively towards aspiring for goodness and righteousness, not towards bitterness or resentment. 

By sharing your own experiences of jealousy and disappointment through this Islamic lens, you help your child to see that these emotions are not shameful, but are in fact opportunities to grow in gratitude, resilience, and reliance upon Allah.