What should I do when they say, “Nobody likes me”? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child says, “Nobody likes me,” it is not just a passing comment; it is a signal of deep hurt, loneliness, or a profound sense of rejection. If left unaddressed, this feeling can damage their self-esteem and cause them to withdraw further from social life. Your role as a parent is to respond with empathy, help them to see the bigger picture, and guide them towards rebuilding their confidence and forming healthy friendships. 

Start With Calm Empathy 

Avoid the temptation to dismiss their words with a quick, “Of course people like you.” Instead, listen to the pain behind the statement first: 

• ‘It sounds like you are feeling really left out and lonely right now.’ 

• ‘I can hear how much this is hurting you at the moment.’ 

This makes them feel safe enough to share more of what they are feeling, rather than shutting down completely. 

Explore the Situation Gently 

Ask gentle, open-ended questions to help you both understand the context: 

• ‘When do you feel like nobody likes you the most? Is it at lunchtime, during games, or in the classroom?’ 

• ‘Did something specific happen today that made you feel this way?’ 

Often, this powerful feeling stems from a single bad incident rather than being an overarching truth about their social life. 

Reassure Them of Their Worth 

Remind them of their value, which exists independently of peer approval: 

• ‘You are loved so deeply here at home, and your kindness and your effort always matter to us.’ 

• ‘One group of children not including you does not mean that nobody likes you.’ 

This helps them to separate a temporary feeling of rejection from their core identity and self-worth. 

Highlight Real Friendships and Positive Interactions 

Gently point out the small signs of connection that they might be overlooking in their moment of sadness: 

• ‘Do you remember how your classmate asked for your help with their homework yesterday?’ 

• ‘Your teacher praised your project in front of everyone, which means your contribution is valued.’ 

This helps to balance their negative perspective with real evidence of them being liked and appreciated. 

Build Social Skills and Confidence 

Help them to take small, practical steps to strengthen their friendships: 

• Role-play how to start a conversation or how to politely ask to join a game. 

• Encourage them to invite a classmate over to your home or to share their lunch with someone. 

• Praise their effort in reaching out, not just the results. Saying, “You said hello to someone new today, and that was very brave,” can be very powerful. 

Provide Safe Belonging Outside of School 

Involve them in activities, clubs, or Qur’an classes where they can meet new friends in a supportive and positive environment. Feeling valued and accepted in other environments helps to reduce the sting of any rejection they may feel at school. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that our worth does not depend on how many people like us, but on our character and our closeness to Allah Almighty. Being overlooked by people does not for a moment mean that we are overlooked by Him. This truth can bring powerful comfort to a hurting child. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 139: 

‘And do not weaken (seeing the strength of the opposition), and do not grieve (for those who have passed away as martyrs); and ultimately you will prevail, if you are (true) believers.’ 

This verse reminds us that believers are never truly diminished by the opinions of others. Teaching this helps your child to understand that even if some children do not show them kindness, their dignity remains perfectly intact in the sight of Allah Almighty. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 5379, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved of people to Allah are those who are most beneficial to others.’ 

This hadith shows that a person’s real worth lies not in being popular, but in being kind and beneficial to those around them. You can encourage your child to focus on developing their own kindness rather than chasing popularity; in time, true friends will naturally be drawn to their good character. 

By grounding your child in these teachings, you help them to replace their despair with hope. They learn that the feeling of ‘nobody likes me’ is not the full story. They discover that their value is far greater than a moment of pain, and that Allah Almighty sees, loves, and honours them even when other people do not. 

In time, they will grow into a young person who finds their strength in faith, measures their worth by their character rather than popularity, and learns to continue offering kindness and patience even when others fall short.