How do I comfort them when they are dropped from a group chat? 

Parenting Perspective 

For children today, being part of a group chat often feels like a tangible sign of belonging. When they are suddenly removed, it can feel like a powerful form of rejection, betrayal, or social humiliation. They may come home feeling devastated and wondering why they were excluded. As a parent, your role is to comfort their hurt, help them to see the bigger picture, and teach them resilience in handling the complexities of digital friendships. 

Acknowledge Their Hurt Without Dismissing It 

Avoid minimising the situation with phrases like “It is just a chat.” For your child, it can feel much bigger than that. Instead, show genuine empathy: 

• ‘I know it must hurt to be left out of the group like that.’ 

• ‘It is painful when friends act this way, and it is perfectly okay to feel upset about it.’ 

By validating their emotions, you show them that it is safe to share their pain with you. 

Reassure Them of Their Worth 

Remind them that being dropped from a chat does not mean they are unworthy of friendship: 

• ‘You are still a valuable and wonderful person, even if some people chose to leave you out.’ 

• ‘True friends do not exclude each other. This situation says more about their character than it does about yours.’ 

This helps to protect their self-esteem from becoming dependent on digital acceptance from their peers. 

Put Digital Life in Perspective 

Gently explain that online social spaces can be unreliable and change quickly: 

• Sometimes people act impulsively online in ways they would not in a face-to-face conversation. 

• Digital friendships can shift very quickly, but real, genuine respect is shown in our actions, not just in online clicks. 

This helps your child to avoid placing too much value on the unstable world of digital approval. 

Teach Healthy Responses 

Guide them on how to react to the situation without anger or desperation: 

• Remind them not to beg to be added back into the group, as this can weaken their sense of dignity. 

• Advise them to avoid retaliating with harsh messages or by spreading gossip. 

• If they still care about the friendship, they could ask calmly and directly in person: ‘I noticed I am not in the chat anymore. Is everything okay?’ 

Strengthen Their Real-World Social Circles 

Encourage them to invest their time and energy in friendships that are respectful, kind, and based in the real world: 

• Suggest they arrange playdates or activities with other children who have shown that they value them. 

• Help them to build their confidence through clubs, family time, and developing skills that show their worth beyond online group chats. 

In this way, they learn that true belonging is something much deeper and more meaningful than a digital chat space. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that being excluded by people does not lessen our worth in the sight of Allah Almighty. What truly matters is our character, our sincerity, and our resilience. Being dropped from a group chat may sting, but it can also be an opportunity to practise the important qualities of patience, dignity, and self-respect. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 139: 

‘And do not weaken (seeing the strength of the opposition), and do not grieve (for those who have passed away as martyrs); and ultimately you will prevail, if you are (true) believers.’ 

This verse reminds us not to let the behaviour of other people diminish our inner strength. This teaches that even in moments of painful social exclusion, our faith and dignity can make us stronger. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 5534, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The example of a good companion in comparison with a bad one is like that of the musk seller and the blacksmith’s bellows.’ 

This hadith teaches us to choose our companions wisely. If a group of friends excludes your child, it may be a sign from Allah Almighty, gently guiding them towards better company that will uplift them instead of causing them pain. 

By linking their experience to these teachings, you can comfort your child with faith and a broader perspective. They can learn that being excluded from a group chat does not define them. Their true worth lies in their character, their kindness, and their standing before Allah Almighty. 

In time, they will come to see that digital rejection is small when compared to the eternal value of patience, resilience, and true companionship. With your support, they will grow into a young believer who is able to handle social exclusion with strength, dignity, and a deep trust in the wisdom of Allah Almighty.