What should I say when they are laughed at for trying to join in? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child gathers the courage to join in with a group of peers and is met with laughter, the sting of that experience is sharp. It can make them feel humiliated, rejected, and too scared to try again in the future. Such moments, if left unaddressed, can damage their confidence and create long-term social anxiety. Your role is to comfort their hurt, reassure them of their worth, and equip them with the resilience to face such situations with dignity in the future. 

Acknowledge the Hurt 

Start by recognising the pain they are feeling, rather than immediately trying to fix it: 

• ‘I am so sorry they laughed when you tried to join in. That must have felt very hurtful.’ 

• ‘It takes real bravery to step forward like you did, and I am proud of you for trying.’ 

This tells your child that their brave effort is seen and valued, even if their peers responded unkindly. 

Reassure Them of Their Worth 

Children often internalise these moments as proof that they are “not good enough.” Gently remind them of their value: 

• ‘Their unkind laughter says far more about them than it does about you.’ 

• ‘You have every right to try to join a game, and your value is not decided by their reaction.’ 

This helps to protect their confidence from being crushed by the unkind behaviour of others. 

Teach Calm and Strong Responses 

Equip them with dignified and empowering ways to respond if this happens again: 

• Practise offering a calm smile and saying, ‘That was not a kind thing to do,’ before simply walking away. 

• Encourage them to turn to another group or a different activity, rather than remaining in a hostile space. 

• Remind them that sometimes, silence and composure can be much stronger than reacting with angry words. 

Role-playing these responses in the safety of your home can give them the confidence to use them in a real situation. 

Build Alternative Spaces of Belonging 

• Encourage friendships with kinder classmates, neighbours, or cousins. 

• Enrol them in clubs or activities outside of school where their talents can shine and they can feel respected. 

• Strengthen your family time so they know without a doubt that they are always valued and loved at home. 

When a child has other safe and supportive social circles, the power of any single act of rejection is greatly diminished. 

Celebrate Courage, Not Just the Outcome 

Even though they were laughed at, make sure to highlight the bravery it took for them to even try: 

• ‘What matters most is that you did not hide away. You stepped forward with courage.’ 

• ‘Trying again after a setback shows far more strength than never trying at all.’ 

This helps to reframe the event in their mind as a mark of their courage, not their failure. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that mockery is not a reflection of the victim’s worth, but is in fact a sin on the part of the one who mocks. Being laughed at does not lower a believer’s dignity; responding with patience and good character will only raise it higher. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them; and let not the women (ridicule) other women, as perhaps they may be better than them…’ 

This verse reminds us that those who mock others may in fact be ridiculing someone who is more beloved to Allah Almighty than they are. Teaching this to your child helps them to see that mockery is a reflection of the wrongdoer’s weakness, not their own. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2564, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Indeed, Allah does not look at your appearance or your wealth, but He looks at your hearts and your deeds.’ 

This hadith can reassure a child that external reactions from others, such as laughter, do not determine their true worth. What truly matters to Allah is their sincerity, their patience, and the goodness of their heart. 

By linking their painful experience to these teachings, you help your child to rise above the sting of mockery. They will learn that being laughed at does not define them, but their response to it does. They will learn that through patience, dignity, and trust in Allah Almighty, they can transform a moment of humiliation into an opportunity for strength. 

In time, your child will come to understand that their courage to try, even in the face of unkind laughter, is far more valuable than the shallow mockery of others. They will grow into a person who is able to walk with a quiet confidence, anchored in the profound knowledge that Allah Almighty sees their effort and values them far above the fleeting and shallow opinions of other people.