How can I help them accept that not every subject will be their strength? 

Parenting Perspective 

Many children struggle when they realise that some school subjects come easily to them while others feel like constant uphill battles. They can easily become discouraged, compare themselves unfavourably to their classmates, or even start to believe that they are ‘bad at school’. As a parent, your role is to help them accept that every person has natural strengths and weaknesses, and that not excelling in one particular subject does not make them any less capable or valuable. 

Acknowledge Their Struggle Without Shame 

When your child says, “I am terrible at maths” or “I will never be good at science,” it is important to respond with calm reassurance: 

• ‘I can see that this subject feels much harder for you, and that is perfectly okay.’ 

• ‘Not every subject has to be your best one. Every single person has areas where they shine and other areas where they need to put in more effort.’ 

This helps them to feel understood and supported, rather than judged for their struggle. 

Reframe Weakness as an Opportunity for Growth 

Teach them that struggling in a subject does not signify failure, but rather that there is an opportunity for growth: 

• ‘Difficult subjects actually train your brain to be stronger, even if they do not become your favourite.’ 

• ‘You may not love this particular subject, but working through it helps to build your discipline and patience.’ 

By reframing the struggle in this way, you help to reduce their frustration and highlight the inherent value in the effort itself. 

Celebrate Their Unique Strengths 

Help your child to see the bigger picture by frequently naming and celebrating the things they are naturally good at: 

• ‘You have such a wonderful talent for writing imaginative stories.’ 

• ‘You are great at helping other people to understand things.’ 

• ‘You always show such kindness and a great sense of teamwork, and that is a real strength.’ 

This vital encouragement ensures that they do not learn to define their entire identity by one difficult subject. 

Encourage Effort Over Perfection 

Remind them that their responsibility is not to be the best student in every single subject, but simply to keep trying their best: 

• ‘Your main goal is progress, not perfection.’ 

• ‘As long as you are giving your best effort, that is what success looks like.’ 

This teaches them resilience and helps to remove the heavy pressure of unrealistic expectations. 

Practical Strategies for a Balanced Approach 

• Set realistic goals: Instead of aiming for top marks in a weaker subject, focus on making small, achievable improvements. 

• Balance the load: Encourage them to spend a little more time on their tougher subjects, but also ensure they have plenty of time to nurture the subjects they genuinely enjoy. 

• Use available support: Teachers, tutors, or creative learning methods can often make difficult subjects feel less overwhelming. 

• Model acceptance: Share your own strengths and weaknesses with them, showing that adults are not perfect in every area either. 

By guiding your child with this balanced perspective, you help them to embrace a healthier view of themselves as capable, growing, and valuable human beings, far beyond any academic labels. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that people are created with different abilities and strengths, and that each person’s unique profile is part of the wisdom of Allah Almighty. Our task in life is not to excel in every single field, but to use the unique gifts we have been given well, and to show beautiful patience in our areas of struggle. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Taaha (20), Verse 50: 

‘(Prophet Musa (AS)) said: “Our Sustainer is the One Who is the ultimate Grantor of Generosity over everything that He has created (in form and by intrinsic nature), then He guides it (towards its purpose in life)”.’ 

This verse reminds us that Allah Almighty has shaped each person uniquely, granting them particular strengths in some areas and challenges in others. A child does not need to excel in every subject to be considered valuable in the sight of Allah; their uniqueness is a deliberate part of His divine design. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2638, that the holy Prophet Muhammad said: 

‘You will find that people are like mines of gold and silver; the best of them in the time of Jahiliyyah are the best of them in Islam, if they understand the religion.’ 

This beautiful hadith teaches that people have different innate qualities and talents, just as mines contain different precious metals. The goal is not for every person to be a mine of gold, but for each individual to discover, refine, and use their God-given potential for good. This helps a child understand that their unique strengths are a gift, and their areas of weakness do not diminish their worth. 

By reminding your child of these teachings, you help them release the burden of having to excel everywhere. They will learn to honour their strengths, show patience in their struggles, and recognise that every gift is a trust from Allah Almighty to be used wisely. 

In time, they will grow into balanced young Muslims who are able to accept their own individuality, appreciate the diversity of talents in others, and value sincere effort far more than the illusion of perfection.