What is a short phrase that helps me choose patience over speed? 

Parenting Perspective 

During the busy moments of family life, such as rushing out the door or hurrying through a bedtime routine, it is natural to feel the urge to move faster. However, this pressure for speed often leads to snapping and frustration, whereas a moment of patience can preserve peace. A short, grounding phrase, repeated to yourself, can help you slow down and choose calm over haste. 

Choose a Simple Grounding Phrase 

Choose a phrase that is brief, easy to remember, and genuinely soothing to you. This phrase will become your mental anchor in moments of rising stress, shifting your focus from urgency to guidance. 

• ‘Calm first, then we can be fast.’ 

• ‘Connection is more important than correction.’ 

• ‘Slow is steady, and steady is kind.’ 

Pair the Phrase with a Calming Breath 

When you repeat the phrase to yourself, pair it with one slow, deliberate breath. This conscious pause allows your body’s stress response to soften, making it physically easier to maintain a calm tone and a patient attitude. 

Practise It During Calmer Moments 

For the phrase to become an automatic habit during stressful times, you must practise it during calm ones. Silently repeat your chosen phrase while doing simple daily tasks, like washing the dishes or waiting for the kettle to boil. This builds the mental muscle memory you will need when your patience is tested. 

Model It Out Loud 

Children learn a great deal from observing how we manage our own stress. Saying your phrase out loud in a soft, calm voice models emotional regulation for them. When they hear you say, ‘Okay, slow is steady, steady is kind,’ before giving an instruction, they learn that it is possible to manage frustration with words instead of with a harsh tone. 

Spiritual Insight 

The conscious choice to prioritise patience over speed is a direct reflection of Islamic wisdom. Our tradition teaches that haste is often from Shaytan, designed to make us act without thinking, while deliberation and calmness are gifts from Allah. 

A Quranic Warning Against Haste 

The Quran reminds us that the nature of humankind is to be hasty, a trait that can lead us to make poor judgements. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 11: 

‘And mankind (sometimes) prays for the occurrence of evil (upon others), and (sometimes) praise for the occurrence of goodness; and indeed, mankind is (frivolous and) hasty (in their judgements).’ 

This verse serves as a powerful reminder that by slowing down and choosing patience, we are acting against our lower inclinations and protecting ourselves from regrettable actions. 

The Prophetic Wisdom on Calmness 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that a calm and forbearing approach beautifies every action, whereas harshness and haste detract from its value. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 634, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘There is no forbearance that is added to something except that it adorns it, and there is no harshness that is added to something except that it disgraces it.’ 

This Hadith encourages us to see patience not as a passive delay, but as an active ingredient that adds beauty and worth to our parenting.