How can I handle night wakings without losing all my calm? 

Parenting Perspective 

Night wakings, whether for a drink of water, a bad dream, or simple reassurance, can severely test a parent’s patience. Staying calm in these moments does not mean giving in to every request, but rather guiding your child back to sleep in a steady, gentle, and reassuring manner that protects everyone’s peace. 

Prepare Yourself Mentally 

One of the most effective tools is mental preparation. Before you go to sleep, gently remind yourself that your child might wake up and decide in advance that you will handle it calmly. This simple act of expectation can soften the jolt of being woken and pre-set your response to one of patience. 

Keep Your Responses Brief and Steady 

Avoid engaging in long, stimulating conversations in the middle of the night. Use a calm, quiet, and repeatable script that offers reassurance without encouraging more interaction. The goal is to be calm and boring. 

• You can say quietly, ‘It is still night-time. It is time to go back to sleep now.’ 

• Or, ‘You are safe. Just close your eyes and rest.’ 

Minimise Stimulation 

The less sensory input your child receives, the more easily they can resettle. Keep the environment as sleepy and calm as possible. 

• Keep the lights very dim or off completely. 

• Use a low, quiet voice. 

• Make your movements slow and deliberate. 

Offer Comfort While Encouraging Independence 

If the waking is due to a nightmare or fear, it is important to acknowledge their feelings. Offer comfort, but then gently guide them back towards their own ability to settle. 

• You can say, ‘I understand that dream felt scary. You are safe now, and Allah is protecting you.’ 

• After a brief cuddle or reassurance, guide them back to their own bed rather than allowing the interaction to stretch on. 

Preserve Your Own Calm 

If you feel your frustration rising, take one slow, deep breath before you speak or act. This small moment of self-regulation can be the difference between a snappy reaction and a peaceful one. Even choosing to whisper instead of speaking in a tense voice can help preserve the calm of the home. 

Spiritual Insight 

Night wakings are not just interruptions; they are opportunities to model patience (sabr) and to remind your child that Allah’s care is ever-present. Islam teaches that both patient endurance and the remembrance of Allah during the night are sources of immense blessing. 

The Night as a Sign of Allah’s Mercy 

Allah Almighty reminds us that the night is a time He has created for our rest, and our sleep and waking are entirely in His control. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al An’aam (6), Verse 60: 

‘And He (Allah Almighty) is the One Who (decides upon) your demise in the night; and He (Allah Almighty) is fully aware of what you have committed in the daytime; then He (Allah Almighty) revives you therein, so that you may fulfil your fixed term (in the worldly life)…’ 

This verse can bring comfort, reminding us that even a disturbed night is part of Allah’s divine plan and within His mercy. 

The Prophetic Guidance for Sleepless Moments 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught a specific dhikr for waking in the night, transforming a moment of potential frustration into an opportunity for immense reward. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6330, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever wakes up at night and says: “La ilaha illallahu wahdahu la sharika lahu, lahul-mulk wa lahul-hamd, wahuwa ‘ala kulli shay’in qadir, alhamdulillah, subhanAllah, la ilaha illallah, Allahu akbar, wa la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah,” then says, “O Allah, forgive me,” or makes du‘a, it will be answered.’ 

This beautiful Hadith shows that even in sleepless moments, turning to the remembrance of Allah can bring peace and an answered prayer.