How do I prepare a child to wait quietly at the masjid without shaming? 

Parenting Perspective 

Bringing children to the masjid is a wonderful blessing, but it can also present unique challenges for parents. Young children may naturally fidget, whisper loudly, or move around when they are expected to sit quietly for long periods. It is natural to feel anxious that other worshippers might be disturbed, but shaming a child in the masjid can cause them to associate the house of Allah with fear and anxiety, rather than with love and peace. The goal, therefore, is to prepare them well beforehand and to guide them with kindness in the moment. 

Prepare Before Leaving Home 

Set the expectations for their behaviour in advance, not once you have already arrived and the challenges have begun. This brief rehearsal helps them to understand what is expected before you arrive. 

• ‘At the masjid, we show our love for Allah by sitting calmly and using our quiet, indoor voices.’ 

• You can even role-play for a minute at home: practise sitting quietly, whispering a word of dhikr, or folding hands peacefully. 

Provide Age-Appropriate Support 

Bring along a few quiet, simple activities that are respectful of the sacred space. This can make the experience of waiting much easier for them, without causing a disturbance to others. 

• A small, silent toy, a favourite Islamic picture book, or a child-friendly set of prayer beads. 

• For very young children, a familiar comfort item to hold can help them to feel secure while waiting. 

Use Gentle Prompts, Not Harsh Words 

If they do become restless or noisy, it is vital to avoid shaming statements like, ‘You are embarrassing me!’. Instead, use gentle, quiet prompts to guide them back to a calmer state. 

• Whisper to them, ‘Let us try to use our quiet masjid voice now.’ 

• ‘Remember, we are waiting patiently together for the salah to begin.’ 

Praise Their Effort Afterwards 

On the journey home, make sure to highlight what went well and praise their efforts. This positive reinforcement encourages them to improve for the next visit, motivated by success rather than fear. 

• ‘I was so proud of the way you sat so patiently for such a long time today.’ 

• ‘You did an excellent job of waiting quietly. That was wonderful to see.’ 

• Child: (Starts talking loudly in the masjid) Parent: (Whispering) ‘Shh, my love, let us use our soft voices now. In the masjid, we always use our calm, quiet voices. You are doing so well; let us just wait a little longer together.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

The masjid is primarily a place of worship for adults, but it is also a vital place of learning and connection for children. Islam encourages us to be patient, gentle, and merciful in guiding them, so that they grow up with a deep and abiding love for the masjid, rather than a fear of it. 

Patience in Worship 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Taaha (20), Verses 132: 

‘And command your family to prayer and bestowed fast thereupon, We (Allah Almighty) do not ask you for any provisions, it is We (Allah Almighty) Who provide for you; and the best outcome is for those who have attained piety.‘ 

This verse reminds us that teaching our children to be patient and steadfast in acts of worship is a parental duty, one that should be carried out with consistency and care. 

The Prophet ﷺ’s Mercy With Children in Salah 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 823, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When one of you leads the people in prayer, let him lighten it, for among them are the weak, the sick, and the elderly. But when he prays alone, let him make it as long as he wishes.’ 

This hadith beautifully illustrates the Prophet’s ﷺ deep consideration for the varying capacities of people. It teaches us to guide our own children with similar gentleness and mercy in the masjid, rather than shaming them for their natural limitations. 

By preparing your child calmly and responding with kindness, you teach them that the masjid is a place of peace, love, and blessing. Over time, they will learn to associate the act of waiting quietly not with fear, but with a feeling of respect, love, and the profound beauty of worship.