How do I handle a teen scrolling at the table without a blow-up? 

Parenting Perspective 

It can feel deeply disrespectful when a teenager pulls out their phone and begins scrolling during a family meal. Your first instinct might be to snap at them or even grab the device, but this approach usually leads to arguments and greater resistance. A calmer, more structured approach is far more effective, as it teaches respect without damaging your connection. 

Setting Clear Expectations Before the Meal 

Rather than only confronting the issue in the heat of the moment, it is better to establish a clear family rule beforehand. When the rule is clear and applies to everyone, it feels less like a personal criticism and more like an agreed-upon family standard. 

• State the rule simply: ‘Our family rule is that mealtimes are for eating and talking together. All phones go away until we have finished.’ 

• Create a designated spot, like a small basket on a side table, where all family members, including parents, place their devices before sitting down to eat. 

Responding Calmly in the Moment 

If your teenager still brings their phone to the table, avoid a major confrontation. Instead, use a steady, neutral reminder. This simple reminder addresses the issue without escalating it into a shouting match. 

• ‘Remember our family rule: phones away from the table, please.’ 

• ‘I would really like to have your full attention for our meal. You can check your phone as soon as we are finished.’ 

Offering Connection as the Alternative 

Teenagers often reach for their phones out of habit or when the mealtime conversation feels dull. The best antidote is to keep the atmosphere engaging. When mealtimes are a source of lively and interesting conversation, screens naturally become less appealing. 

• Make an effort to ask them about a topic they are genuinely interested in. 

• Introduce a light-hearted ‘conversation starter’ question that everyone at the table can answer. 

Modelling the Behaviour Yourself 

The rule will only be respected if it applies to everyone. By consistently demonstrating device-free mealtimes yourself, you set the standard for the entire family in a quiet but powerful way. 

• Teen: (Starts scrolling during dinner) 

• Parent: (Calmly) ‘Phone away now, please. I would love to have your company at the table with us. You can check it right after we have finished.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

In the Islamic tradition, mealtimes are intended to be more than just occasions for eating. They are precious moments for family unity, expressing gratitude, and remembering the blessings of Allah. Allowing digital distractions to invade this time diminishes the potential for these blessings. 

Gratitude and Focus 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verses 20: 

‘Have you not observed, that indeed, Allah (Almighty) has facilitated for you that which is in the layers of trans-universal existence and in the Earth; and bestowed upon you His optimum benefaction, both which is visible, and that which you are incapable of observing; and those people that dispute about (the existence of) Allah (Almighty) without any knowledge, or any guidance, nor without any Book of enlightenment (prove their reckless assumptions).‘ 

This verse is a profound reminder that every meal placed before us is one of the visible favours from Allah, worthy of our full attention and sincere gratitude. 

The Prophet ﷺ on Manners at the Table 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3269, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When one of you eats, let him not wipe his hand until he has licked it or had it licked.’ 

While the specific action relates to not wasting a single blessing, the broader principle of this hadith points towards complete mindfulness, presence, and respect for the act of eating, rather than being distracted from it. 

By calmly guiding your teenager away from their screen, you are protecting the dinner table as a sacred space for gratitude and family connection. Over time, they will learn that meals are not just about filling the stomach, but about strengthening bonds and remembering Allah’s blessings together.