What should I do when my child is rude to me, how to introduce forgiveness? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child is rude, it can feel deeply personal and hurtful. Yet these moments are also valuable opportunities to teach them about accountability, repair, and forgiveness. The key is to correct the behaviour firmly, but without holding on to resentment, showing your child that love and respect can be restored after a mistake. 

Address the Behaviour Calmly 

First, it is important to state the boundary in a clear and direct way. You can say, ‘The way you just spoke to me was rude, and in our family, I expect you to speak with respect.’ This makes the standard clear without you needing to raise your own voice or become emotional. 

Introduce Forgiveness After an Apology 

Once your child offers an apology for their behaviour, you can respond with warmth and reassurance. For example: ‘Thank you for saying that you are sorry. I forgive you, and I love you.’ This models how forgiveness restores relationships and prevents grudges from taking root, showing them that your connection is secure. 

Teach That Forgiveness Is Ongoing 

You can also explain that forgiveness is a normal and necessary part of family life. A simple statement like, ‘We all make mistakes sometimes. What matters most is that we apologise, forgive each other, and then try to do better next time,’ helps your child to see forgiveness as a strength. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that while justice is a right, mercy and forgiveness are higher virtues that bring immense reward. A parent who can model forgiveness after being treated rudely is teaching a profound spiritual lesson. 

The Reward for Reconciliation 

The Quran reminds us that while correcting a wrong is necessary, the act of pardoning and making peace carries a special reward directly from Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verses 40: 

‘And the outcome (of defending) against an evil, (could be the formation) of an evil similar to it; so therefore, whoever offers amnesty and reconciliation, then his reward shall be with Allah (Almighty); indeed, He (Allah Almighty) does not like the transgressors.‘ 

Mercy as a Path to God’s Mercy 

The prophetic tradition teaches that the mercy we show to others in this life is directly connected to the mercy we hope to receive from Allah. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4941, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Show mercy to those on the earth, and the One above the heavens will show mercy to you.’ 

By introducing forgiveness after moments of rudeness, you are showing your child that discipline is not about punishment alone, but about repair and reconciliation. They learn that respect includes having the humility to apologise and the strength to forgive, which nurtures both family harmony and a strong, faith-centred character.