How can I help them choose kind behaviour over mimicry? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children are natural imitators and will often copy the words, gestures, and behaviours they see in their peers or online. While this mimicry is a normal part of learning, it can sometimes lead to them adopting unkind or disrespectful habits. The goal is to guide your child to pause and make conscious choices, replacing blind imitation with values-based behaviour. 

Teach the Filter of Choice 

Explain to your child in simple terms that they have a choice. You could say, ‘You might see other people acting in a certain way, but you always get to choose what you copy. In our family, we choose to copy only what is kind and respectful.’ This empowers them to see themselves as active decision-makers, rather than just passive followers of the crowd. 

Offer Positive Role Models 

Actively highlight positive examples of kindness both at home and in the stories you share with them. When you see your child making a conscious choice to be kind, offer them praise: ‘I noticed that you chose to speak politely even though your friend was not doing so. That shows real strength of character.’ 

Practise Scenarios Together 

You can use role-playing to work through common situations your child might face. For example, you could discuss what to do if friends start making fun of someone, or how to respond if their classmates are using rude words. Rehearsing these kind responses in a safe environment will give your child the confidence to stand apart from negative influences when the time comes. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that a believer is one who thinks critically about their actions and strives to embody the best of character, rather than simply imitating the behaviour of those around them. This principle of conscious choice is a cornerstone of a strong faith. 

Guidance for Those Who Strive for Good 

The Quran gives a beautiful promise that those who make a sincere effort to follow the path of goodness will receive direct help and guidance from Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ankaboot (29), Verses 69: 

‘ And those people that endeavour (to please) Us (Allah Almighty); so, We (Allah Almighty) shall indeed, guide them (to those pathways) that lead to Us; and indeed, Allah (Almighty) is with those who are benevolent (in their actions).‘ 

Good Character as the Perfection of Faith 

The prophetic tradition teaches that the ultimate measure of a person’s faith is their character, which is shown through their conscious choice to be kind and respectful. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1162, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most complete of the believers in faith are those with the best character.’ 

By teaching your child to choose kindness over mimicry, you are connecting their daily actions to the Islamic values of faith and responsibility. They learn that while following the crowd may be easy, choosing to act with respect and good manners is what brings dignity, reward, and closeness to Allah.