What Steps Help a Child Apologise if They Have Been Disrespectful? 

Parenting Perspective 

Teaching a child to apologise sincerely is more than just a matter of good manners; it is about building empathy, responsibility, and the ability to repair relationships. Children sometimes resist apologising because they see it as losing power or admitting weakness. You can guide them through a process that shows apologising is an act of strength and maturity. 

Step 1: Pause and Reflect 

Before they rush to say sorry, encourage your child to calm down and think about what happened. This helps them to offer a sincere apology rather than one given out of fear or pressure. 

Step 2: Name the Behaviour 

Guide them to be specific with their apology. This can sound like, ‘I am sorry I spoke rudely,’ or ‘I am sorry I rolled my eyes.’ Being specific shows, they understand exactly what was wrong and prevents vague, half-hearted apologies. 

Step 3: Repair the Relationship 

Encourage them to add a gesture of repair to their apology. This could be offering to help, making a kind comment, or showing extra cooperation. This makes the apology more meaningful and helps to restore trust. 

Step 4: Model and Practise 

Children learn through repetition and example. When they see you apologise sincerely, they begin to understand that saying sorry is a normal part of healthy relationships, not a sign of weakness. 

By breaking the process down into these steps, you make apologising more approachable and show your child that respect includes making amends when mistakes are made. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, seeking forgiveness after doing wrong is a mark of faith and humility, not shame. It is a fundamental part of repairing our relationships with others and with Allah Almighty. 

Guidance from the noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 135: 

‘And when those people who have committed immoral actions, or wronged themselves; (they should) remember Allah (Almighty), and then ask for forgiveness for their sins; and who can forgive their sins except Allah (Almighty)…’ 

This verse reminds us that seeking forgiveness after wrongdoing is a mark of faith and humility, not shame. It shows a believer’s reliance on Allah Almighty’s mercy. 

Teachings of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 2285, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you is those who are best in paying back when they make a mistake.’ 

This Hadith teaches us that true goodness lies in making amends and restoring relationships after we have caused harm. 

When you teach your child to apologise step by step, you are nurturing humility, empathy, and accountability, which are all qualities loved by Allah Almighty. They will learn that mistakes are a part of life, but respect and faith are shown by repairing the harm and taking responsibility with dignity.