How can I teach calm responses to feedback? 

Parenting Perspective 

Teaching a child to handle feedback calmly is a crucial life skill. It helps them to build resilience, rather than viewing any form of criticism as a personal attack. Many children react defensively to feedback because it can make them feel judged or embarrassed. Your role as a parent is to create a safe and supportive environment where feedback feels like helpful guidance, not condemnation. 

Normalise Feedback at Home 

Make gentle feedback a regular and normal part of your daily family life, not something that only happens when there is a problem. For example, you might say, ‘Dinner was delicious tonight, but perhaps we can try it with a little less salt next time.’ When children see that feedback can be fair, kind, and even positive, they stop viewing it as a personal threat. 

Model Calm Responses Yourself 

Children learn the most about how to handle criticism by watching you. When someone points out a mistake you have made, try to respond openly and with humility: ‘Thank you for telling me; I will remember that for next time.’ Showing this kind of humility teaches them that feedback is not an attack on their pride, but a valuable tool for growth. 

Teach Simple Phrases to Use 

Give your child a few easy and respectful responses that they can practise using when they receive feedback. Simple phrases could include: 

• ‘Okay, thank you, I will try again.’ 

• ‘Thank you, I had not noticed that.’ 

• ‘I will work on that.’ 

Equipping them with these words can help to replace a defensive or emotional reaction with a more measured and respectful one. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that humility and the ability to accept correction are signs of a pure heart. Guiding children to respond to feedback with patience rather than defensiveness is a way of nurturing a character that is beloved to Allah. 

Patience and Forgiveness as Recommended Acts 

The Quran reminds us that responding to a challenge or a correction with patience is a noble quality that demonstrates great determination and strength of character. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verses 43: 

‘And for the person who is patient and forgiving, indeed, (these acts are derived from) higher moral determination.‘ 

Humility as a Path to Honour 

The prophetic tradition teaches that accepting a situation with humility and forgiveness does not lower a person’s status, but in fact elevates them in the sight of Allah. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2588, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘No one forgives another except that Allah increases his honour.’ 

When you guide your child to accept feedback calmly, you are aligning them with the Islamic values of patience and humility. They learn that growth often comes through correction, and that true honour lies in responding with dignity rather than with defensiveness. This not only strengthens their character but also protects family relationships from unnecessary conflict.