How can my child stand up kindly against unkind jokes? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children often encounter unkind jokes in social settings, such as at school or online. They may be tempted to laugh along simply to fit in or remain silent to avoid drawing attention. Teaching them to stand up kindly, without harshness or embarrassing others, equips them with the necessary courage, empathy, and respect for a person’s dignity. 

Explaining Why It Matters 

Help your child understand the moral weight of their words and actions in these critical moments. 

Tell your child: “When jokes genuinely hurt someone, standing up kindly shows you care about people’s feelings more than just fitting in.” 

This framing helps them see the bigger purpose behind speaking up respectfully. 

Teach Gentle, Clear Phrases 

Give your child simple, pre-prepared phrases they can use in the moment to interrupt the unkindness without escalating the situation. 

Provide simple words they can use: 

• “That is not really funny.” 

• “Let us not joke about people like that.” 

• “We can make jokes that make everyone laugh, not just some of us.” 

These phrases effectively stop the harm without directly attacking the jokester. 

Encouraging Alternative Humour 

Guide them to quickly pivot the social energy away from the unkindness and toward a positive activity. 

Encourage them to smoothly change the subject with a light, positive joke or by suggesting a new activity. Redirecting the focus keeps the mood playful while steering them away from unkindness. 

Practising Through Role-Play 

Rehearsing the response builds the confidence required to act calmly when they are under social pressure. 

Act it out: Parent as peer: “Look at how silly he looks!” Child (guided): “That might hurt his feelings. Let us joke about something else.” 

Practising the response builds confidence to react calmly and thoughtfully. 

Praise Acts of Courage 

Always affirm the act of courage itself, which is often more difficult than remaining silent. 

When your child stands up kindly, affirm it: “I am proud you spoke kindly but firmly. That showed real strength and care for others.” 

By giving your child respectful words and modelling empathy, you help them learn that kindness can be firm, and standing up for others is always a noble act. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that mocking and hurting others with words is strictly forbidden. Believers are actively encouraged to stop harm with gentleness and to protect the dignity of all people. 

Prohibition Against Ridicule 

The Quran issues a clear command against ridicule, reminding believers that the person being mocked may, in fact, be better in the sight of Allah Almighty. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them…’ 

This verse reminds us that mockery is against the principles of faith and dignity, and believers must consciously avoid it. 

Acting Against Evil 

The Hadith establishes a clear duty for believers to act against evil or harm at whatever level they are capable of doing so. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 5008, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever among you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand; if he is not able, then with his tongue; and if he is not able, then with his heart and that is the weakest of faith.’ 

This Hadith shows that believers must act against harm at whatever level they can. For children, speaking kindly to interrupt an unkind joke is a powerful way of practising this essential teaching. 

When children learn to stand up kindly against unkind jokes, they are protecting dignity, showing empathy, and living prophetic values. These habits teach them that true courage is not found in laughing along but in choosing kindness when it matters most.