How do I guide a child to make amends when they broke something borrowed? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child breaks an item they have borrowed, their initial feelings may involve embarrassment, fear, or a strong temptation to hide the mistake. Guiding them to properly make amends teaches fundamental lessons in honesty, genuine responsibility, and respect for others’ belongings. This process also rebuilds trust and shows them precisely how to repair relationships with true integrity. 

Teaching Immediate Honesty 

Instil the principle that honesty is always the first, most courageous step, regardless of the consequences. 

Explain gently: “Accidents happen, but hiding them makes things much worse. Being honest shows respect and courage.” 

Encourage them to tell the truth straight away, even if the thought of it feels highly difficult. 

Providing a Simple Script for Apology 

Coach your child to deliver an apology that covers the three essential steps: honesty, ownership, and care for the other person’s feelings. 

Coach your child to say: “I am sorry, I accidentally broke this. It was yours, and I want to make it right.” 

This concise script includes honesty, ownership of the action, and a commitment to repair. 

Discussing Ways to Make Amends 

Help your child shift their focus from the mistake itself to the practical steps of restoration. 

Guide your child to think of practical steps: 

• Replace the item if possible and appropriate. 

• Contribute part of their pocket money towards replacement or repair. 

• Offer a kind act, such as helping the owner with a chore. 

This action-oriented approach shows them that making amends involves more than just words; it requires tangible action. 

Role-Playing the Situation 

Practising the exchange beforehand reduces anxiety and fear, significantly boosting the child’s confidence for the real interaction. 

Practise together: Parent as friend: “Oh, my favourite toy is broken!” Child (guided): “I am sorry. It was an accident, and I would like to help fix it.” 

Praising Their Effort 

Affirm the child’s character and the effort involved in their attempt to make things right, not just the outcome. 

Say: “I am proud you told the truth and offered to make it right. That shows maturity.” 

By guiding your child through the necessary stages of honesty, apology, and repair, you help them learn that mistakes can become valuable opportunities for growth and kindness. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches believers to deeply respect others’ property and to actively seek forgiveness and reconciliation when any harm is caused. Breaking something borrowed necessitates humility, honesty, and a sincere effort to make things correct. 

Fulfilling Trust and Commitment 

The Quran stresses the seriousness of safeguarding the belongings of others and fulfilling every commitment and trust placed in an individual. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 34: 

‘And do not come close to the wealth (committed) for the orphan, except with those (ideas and assistance) that may prove helpful (in increasing the wealth), until (the orphan) reaches the age of maturity; and fulfil all your promises, as indeed, you will be questioned about all the promises that you have made (in this life).’ 

This verse underscores the profound seriousness of safeguarding others’ belongings and fulfilling trust. 

The Hadith offers a strong reminder that on the Day of Judgement, all rights will be restored to their owners, emphasising that every act of trust and harm will be meticulously accounted for. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 204, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘On the Day of Judgement, the rights will be given to those to whom they are due, until even the hornless sheep will be recompensed for the horned one.’ 

This Hadith reminds us that every act of trust and harm will be accounted for, even the smallest. 

When children learn to apologise and make amends after breaking a borrowed item, they are actively practising honesty, justice, and humility. These essential habits shape them into trustworthy individuals who honour others and sincerely seek Allah Almighty’s pleasure in all their dealings.