What Can We Do Nightly to Notice Three Good Things Others Did? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is very common for children to end their day focused on what went wrong, what annoyed them, or what they did not get. By building a simple nightly routine of noticing three good things that others did for them, you can help to shift their mindset away from negativity and towards gratitude, kindness, and positive reflection. This powerful habit not only strengthens family bonds but also helps children to fall asleep with calm and contented hearts. 

Make it a Simple Bedtime Ritual 

Choose a calm and quiet moment just before sleep to introduce this practice. You can ask each child to share aloud, ‘What are three kind or helpful things that other people did for you today?’ Making this a consistent part of your bedtime routine helps to embed it as the closing rhythm of the day. 

Help Them with Guiding Examples 

To begin with, your child might find it difficult to recall specific moments. You can help them by offering small, guiding examples of what to look for, such as: 

• ‘Did a sister or brother share a toy with you?’ 

• ‘Did Dad help you with your homework?’ 

• ‘Did a friend wait for you at the school gate?’ 

These practical and relatable examples show them the kinds of small moments that count. 

Foster an Atmosphere of Mutual Respect 

As each family member shares their three things, encourage everyone else to listen quietly and attentively, perhaps offering a smile or a nod of agreement. This helps to build an atmosphere of mutual respect and warmth, where everyone’s reflections are valued. 

Keep the Tone Light and Positive 

It is important to avoid turning this beautiful practice into a lecture or a chore. Keep the tone light and treat it like a special form of storytelling or a family “thankfulness circle.” When children feel that it is a joyful and connecting activity, they will be much more eager to join in. 

Conclude with Gratitude and Supplication 

After everyone has shared, you can bring the ritual to a close with a shared word of gratitude, such as, ‘Alhamdulillah, it is wonderful to see how much kindness we noticed in our day today.’ You could then make a short, collective dua asking Allah to increase the love and goodness within your family. 

By practising this nightly reflection, you are training your children to actively notice the small, everyday acts of goodness around them and to truly value the kindness of others. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a profound emphasis on the importance of remembering our blessings, showing gratitude for them, and recognising the good that we see in other people. A nightly family reflection on the kindness of others is a beautiful and practical way to live out these essential Islamic teachings. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Ibraheem (14), Verse 7: 

‘And (remember) when your Sustainer made this declaration; (saying that): “If you show gratitude, I (Allah Almighty) will indeed, amplify them for you (provisions and sustenance); however, if you become ungrateful, then indeed, My punishment is Meticulous (in execution)”.‘ 

This verse teaches us the powerful principle that gratitude brings an increase in all good things. By fostering a grateful mindset in our children, we are opening the doors for an increase in blessings, love, and harmony within the family. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4811, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever does not thank people has not thanked Allah.’ 

This hadith is a direct reminder that showing our gratitude to other people is an inseparable part of showing our gratitude to Allah. The two are deeply connected. 

When children practise the habit of noticing three good things each night, they are not only ending their day with a sense of positivity, but they are also planting the seeds of deep and sincere gratitude in their hearts. Over time, this powerful habit nurtures their empathy, their love for others, and a profound awareness of the countless blessings of Allah in their everyday lives.