How Do I Show Them Kindness in Traffic Jams and Public Delays? 

Parenting Perspective 

Traffic jams, long queues, and other public delays can test the patience of even the calmest adult, so it is no surprise that children often become restless, impatient, or irritable in these situations. While these moments can feel frustrating, they are also powerful opportunities to model patience and kindness. The way you respond teaches your child whether waiting is a burden to be endured or a chance to practise empathy and inner calm. 

Model a Calm and Positive Response 

Your children will take their primary cues from your reactions. If you sigh, complain, or show visible anger at the delay, they will absorb that negative energy. Instead, try to model a calm and positive response by saying something like, ‘It looks like it is taking a little longer than we expected today, but that is okay. We can use this extra time to talk or play a quiet word game together.’ This helps to reframe the act of waiting as something manageable and peaceful. 

Frame Patience as a Skill to be Practised 

Explain to your child that waiting is a normal and unavoidable part of life, and that learning to be patient is a skill that helps everyone to feel better. You can equip them with tools to manage their impatience, such as listening to a story, playing quiet games, or even reciting words of remembrance (dhikr) together. This teaches them that patience is an active skill, not a passive punishment. 

Point Out the Kindness of Others 

Use these moments to draw your child’s attention to the considerate behaviours of others around you. In a traffic jam, you might point out, ‘Did you see how that kind driver let the bus go in front of them? That was a very thoughtful thing to do.’ Encouraging them to notice and value these small acts of public courtesy helps to build their social awareness. 

Use the Time for Gratitude and Connection 

You can transform a moment of frustration into an opportunity for gratitude and connection. A simple statement like, ‘Alhamdulillah, we are safe and sound together in the car, even if we are moving slowly,’ helps to build a sense of perspective and appreciation for your blessings. This shifts the focus from what is lacking to what you have. 

Acknowledge and Praise Their Efforts 

When your child manages to wait calmly, even for a short period, be sure to acknowledge their effort. You could say, ‘I really liked how patient you were just then, even though I know waiting is hard. That was very thoughtful.’ This positive reinforcement helps them to value their own growing resilience and kindness. 

By consistently using traffic jams and delays as teaching moments, you help your child to learn that patience is not a passive state, but an active form of kindness that makes life’s small frustrations easier for everyone. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that demonstrating patience (sabr) and kindness during life’s daily inconveniences is a sign of strong and mature faith. Even in small delays, believers are encouraged to respond not with frustration, but with a sense of calm, gratitude, and trust in Allah’s plan. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 153: 

‘ O those of you who are believers, seek assistance (from Allah Almighty) through resilience and prayer, indeed, Allah (Almighty) is with those that are resilient.’ 

This verse is a beautiful reminder that when we choose patience, we are never alone. It teaches us that patience is a means of seeking and receiving divine help and support, even in life’s small frustrations like a traffic jam. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 26, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever is patient, Allah will grant him patience, and no one is given a gift better and more comprehensive than patience.’ 

This hadith teaches us that patience is not just a skill but a divine gift and a source of immense strength and goodness. By encouraging children to practise it during delays, we are helping them to transform a moment of inconvenience into a meaningful act of worship. 

When children learn to meet traffic jams and public delays with a spirit of patience and kindness, they are developing their resilience, their gratitude, and their empathy for others. These important lessons prepare them for the bigger challenges in life, teaching them that true strength lies not in rushing through life, but in responding to its tests with calm, mercy, and a thankful heart.