How Can I Teach My Child to Return Borrowed Items Promptly with Thanks? 

Parenting Perspective 

Borrowing items is a common and natural part of life for children, whether it involves a pencil at school, a book from a friend, or a toy from a sibling. However, problems often arise when those items are forgotten, returned late, or handed back carelessly without a word of thanks. Teaching your child the habit of returning things promptly, in good condition, and with sincere appreciation is a crucial lesson in responsibility, trustworthiness, and respect for the belongings of others. 

Connect Promptness with Trustworthiness 

Help your child to see the bigger picture by explaining how their actions affect their relationships. You could say, ‘When you make sure to return things quickly, it shows the other person that you are responsible and can be trusted. That trust is what makes friendships strong.’ Children learn best when they can see the direct link between their actions and the quality of their relationships. 

Establish a Clear Return-and-Thank Routine 

Create a simple and predictable family rule that is easy for everyone to follow. This could be as simple as: 

• We always try to return borrowed items on the very same day, if possible. 

• We always say “thank you” when we give the item back. 

Having these clear and consistent expectations helps to build the habit until it becomes automatic. 

Build the Habit Through Practice 

You can make the act of polite returning feel more natural for your child through practice. During calm moments, you can role-play simple scenarios: Parent: ‘Here is my pen; you may borrow it for your drawing.’ Child: ‘Thank you so much. Here it is back now that I have finished.’ This kind of practice gives them the words and confidence to use in real situations. 

Acknowledge and Praise Responsible Behaviour 

When your child does remember to return something properly, make a point of highlighting it. Specific praise is most effective: ‘I really liked how you remembered to give back that book with a thank you. That showed real respect and responsibility.’ This positive reinforcement makes them feel proud of their good character and encourages the habit. 

Implement Gentle, Natural Consequences 

If a child is repeatedly forgetful or careless about returning items, you can introduce a gentle and logical consequence. This might mean pausing their borrowing privileges for a short time, with the explanation, ‘Until you can show me that you can return things properly, we need to take a break from borrowing.’ This approach directly links the privilege of borrowing with the duty of responsibility. 

By combining clear rules with consistent practice and praise, you help your child to understand that returning items promptly is not just a matter of good manners, but a fundamental way of showing kindness, respect, and trustworthiness. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that fulfilling our trusts and returning what we have borrowed is a serious matter of honesty and faith. Even the smallest of borrowed items carries with it a responsibility that we are accountable for before Allah Almighty. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 283: 

‘…And if some of you have trust with each other, then let that person discharge what is interested to him (faithfully), and let him be concerned about (the judgement of) Allah (Almighty) his Sustainer…’ 

This verse is a powerful reminder that whenever we are entrusted with something even if it is just for a brief period, we have a responsibility to fulfil that trust with complete sincerity and God-consciousness. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 3935, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Return the trust to the one who entrusted you, and do not betray the one who betrays you.’ 

This hadith makes it clear that our duty to honour a trust is absolute. For children, this is a direct and simple instruction: they must return what they have borrowed promptly, with care and with thanks, as a sign of their integrity. 

When children learn to return things quickly and respectfully, they are practising the virtues of honesty, gratitude, and responsibility. These essential habits prepare them to grow into trustworthy and reliable adults whose relationships are built on a strong foundation of respect and integrity.