What Should My Child Say When a Friend Is Being Left Out of a Group Chat? 

Parenting Perspective 

In today’s digitally connected world, being left out of a group chat can be a deeply painful experience for a child, creating powerful feelings of rejection and isolation. When your child is faced with this situation, it is an opportunity to guide them in developing loyalty, kindness, and the quiet courage to stand up for what is right. This is a chance to strengthen their empathy and teach them that true friendship is about inclusion, not exclusion. 

Equip Them with Gentle, Non-Confrontational Phrases 

Give your child a few simple phrases they can use to advocate for their friend without sounding aggressive or confrontational. You could suggest they type: 

• ‘Should we add Fatima to this chat too? I think she would enjoy being part of this conversation.’ 

• ‘It would be really nice if everyone from our group was included here.’ 

• ‘I do not feel right about leaving someone out of our chat.’ 

This approach frames inclusion as a positive and friendly suggestion, rather than as a criticism of others. 

Suggest Offering Private Support 

If your child feels anxious about speaking up in the main group, encourage them to send a private message to the excluded friend first. A simple message like, ‘I noticed you were not added to the new group chat. I am sorry about that, and I will talk to the others about including you,’ can be a powerful act of solidarity. This reassures the friend that they are seen, valued, and not alone. 

Nurture Empathy Through Reflection 

Help your child to connect with the feelings of their excluded friend. You can ask gentle, reflective questions like, ‘How do you think you would feel if you were the one left out? What kind of words would make you feel better in that situation?’ This practice helps them to choose their own words with greater kindness and understanding. 

Acknowledge and Praise Their Courage 

When your child does find the courage to speak up for a friend, make sure you affirm their effort. Let them know how proud you are by saying, ‘It took real strength and loyalty to stand up for your friend like that. That was a wonderful thing to do.’ Celebrating their moral courage makes them more likely to act on their conscience in the future. 

By teaching your child to use their voice for the sake of inclusion, you empower them to value fairness and protect their friendships in an age where digital spaces can be just as hurtful as any playground. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a strong and recurring emphasis on brotherhood, unity, and the sacred duty to protect others from harm. The act of excluding someone from a group is a form of emotional harm, while the act of including them is a beautiful expression of mercy and justice. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.‘ 

This verse is a reminder that the default state for believers should be one of unity and mutual support. Actively including a friend in a group chat is one small but significant way of living this principle and strengthening the ties of brotherhood. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 1938, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The rights of a Muslim upon another Muslim are six. If he invites you, respond to him; if he seeks your advice, give it to him; if he sneezes and says alhamdulillah, say yarhamuk Allah; if he falls ill, visit him; if he dies, follow his funeral; and if you meet him, greet him with salaam.’ 

This hadith teaches us that Muslims owe certain rights to one another, which include being acknowledged, included, and supported. For children, this is a clear lesson that leaving a friend out of a conversation ignores their fundamental right to a sense of belonging within the community. 

When your child learns to use their words to include others, they are practising the noble prophetic example of standing up for fairness with gentleness and wisdom. Over time, this habit will shape them into compassionate individuals who instinctively protect hearts and strengthen the bonds of true friendship.