How Do I Stop Rolling Eyes or Sighs When Children Are Asked to Help Elders? 

Parenting Perspective 

The rolling of eyes, a heavy sigh, or a muttered complaint these are common ways for children to express their reluctance when asked to help an elder. While this behaviour may seem small, it communicates disrespect and can undermine the spirit of willing service you wish to cultivate. Teaching children to respond with dignity and a positive attitude is a crucial lesson in honouring their elders and taking pride in the act of service itself. 

Address the Disrespectful Manner, Not Just the Action 

It is important to correct the disrespectful expression in the moment, without shaming the child. You can say calmly but firmly, ‘Rolling your eyes like that can make Grandma feel disrespected. Let us try that again with a kind face and a willing voice.’ By naming the behaviour, you help your child to see its direct impact on others’ feelings. 

Equip Them with Respectful Responses 

Children often resort to non-verbal signs of frustration because they lack the right words. Equip them with short, polite, and respectful replies that they can use instead. Practise phrases like, ‘Okay, I will do it,’ or ‘Sure, I can help with that,’ or ‘I am just coming now.’ Role-playing these responses during calm moments makes them natural and easy to access when needed. 

Connect Service with Honour and Love 

Help your child to understand the deeper meaning behind the request. Explain, ‘When you help an elder, it is a sign of your love and respect for them. That act of service is more important than finishing your game quickly.’ Linking the task to core values like love and honour makes it feel meaningful, not just like an order. 

Acknowledge and Praise Willingness 

When your child responds to a request without any signs of reluctance, be sure to notice and praise their attitude. A simple comment like, ‘I really appreciate how you said “okay” so politely to Auntie just now. That showed real maturity and respect,’ strengthens the connection between a willing attitude and positive recognition. 

Lead by Your Own Cheerful Example 

Let your children see you respond to requests for help with eagerness and a positive spirit. When another adult asks for your help, respond with warmth: ‘Of course, I would be happy to help you with that.’ Children are highly attuned to the spirit in which things are done, and they will naturally mirror the willing attitude they see in you. 

By gently correcting disrespect, modelling a positive attitude, and praising good manners, you help your children to transform a reluctant sigh into an act of eager and willing service. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a great deal of value on the act of serving elders with humility, respect, and a willing heart. Even a small, non-verbal sign of irritation, such as a sigh, can diminish the beauty and reward of an act of service. True kindness is expressed not only through our actions but also through our attitude. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 23: 

‘And your Sustainer has decreed that you do not worship anyone except Him Alone; And (treat) parents favourably; whether one of them or both of them reach old age in your lifetime; then do not say to either of them ‘Uff’ (an expression of disrespectful frustration) and do not admonish them; and talk to them with kind words.‘ 

This powerful verse explicitly prohibits even the smallest expression of annoyance the word “uff” towards one’s parents. This teaches children a profound lesson: that true respect must be shown in our words, our actions, and our very manner. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6231, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The young should greet the old, the passerby should greet the one sitting, and the small group should greet the larger group.’ 

This hadith highlights the Islamic principle that respect for elders should be woven into the fabric of our everyday interactions. Helping them with a spirit of kindness, without any sign of complaint or annoyance, is a natural extension of this beautiful etiquette. 

When children learn to help their elders with willing hearts and respectful manners, they are practising the virtues of humility and honouring their family ties. These small but significant shifts in their behaviour are what prepare them to grow into adults who serve others with sincerity, dignity, and a deep desire to please Allah Almighty.