How Can I Show Appreciation When They Take Initiative with Elders’ Needs? 

Parenting Perspective 

When you see your child independently notice an elder’s need bringing them a glass of water without being asked, helping them with a heavy bag, or offering them a seat it is a truly special moment. It is a sign that the seeds of empathy and thoughtfulness you have planted are beginning to take root. Showing your sincere appreciation in these moments is crucial, as it reinforces the behaviour and makes it more likely to become a lasting part of their character. The key is to recognise their effort, connect it to core values, and make them feel proud of their initiative. 

Be Specific in Your Praise 

Move beyond a general “Good job.” Instead, describe exactly what you saw and why it was meaningful. For example, ‘I noticed that you brought Grandma her shawl before she even had to ask. That was incredibly caring and showed you were paying attention to her needs.’ Specific praise helps them to clearly connect their action with the virtue of kindness. 

Connect the Action to Their Character 

Tie their thoughtful action to the person they are becoming. You could say, ‘That showed me that you are growing into a very thoughtful and respectful person who notices the needs of others.’ This approach helps to build their self-esteem rooted in positive character traits, which is far more powerful than simply praising a one-off action. 

Acknowledge Their Kindness Publicly 

When appropriate, celebrate their act of initiative in front of the elder or other family members. A warm comment like, ‘Did everyone see how our dear son helped Grandpa with his coat without being asked? That made me so proud,’ not only boosts your child’s confidence but also models for other siblings what is valued in your family. 

Help Them Connect Kindness with Joy 

After the moment has passed, you can encourage your child to reflect on the positive feelings associated with their action. A simple question like, ‘How did it feel inside when you saw Grandma smile at you after you helped her?’ helps them to connect their kindness with the intrinsic emotional reward of bringing happiness to others. 

Offer Spontaneous, Non-Material Rewards 

Occasionally, you can pair your verbal appreciation with a non-material reward, such as some extra story time, a special one-on-one activity, or simply a warm, heartfelt hug. These occasional surprises reinforce the idea that kindness brings joy and connection, though not always in a predictable or material form. This teaches them that goodness is its own reward. 

By appreciating your child’s initiative with warmth, clarity, and meaning, you nurture a lasting habit of attentiveness and proactive care towards elders. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages believers to be attentive to the needs of others and to serve them willingly, without waiting to be asked. When a child takes the initiative to help an elder, they are not only demonstrating beautiful manners but are also performing an act of worship that carries a special reward with Allah Almighty. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Insaan (76), Verse 8: 

‘And donate food, despite their own desire for nourishment, to the needy and the orphans and those held in captivity.‘ 

This verse praises those who give willingly and generously from that which they love, acting on their own initiative. By teaching children to act on their own thoughtful impulses, you are helping them to reflect this noble spirit of generosity. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 627, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved of people to Allah are those who are most beneficial to people.’ 

This profound hadith teaches us that one of the highest stations a person can achieve is to be of benefit to others. By proactively helping others, especially their elders, a child is taking a step towards becoming one of those who are most beloved to Allah. 

When you show deep appreciation for your child’s thoughtful initiative, you are connecting their beautiful actions to both your family’s core values and to the promise of a divine reward. Over time, they will learn that true kindness is not just about obeying instructions, but about actively seeing a need and choosing to be a source of ease and comfort for others a quality that builds compassion, maturity, and a deep-rooted faith.