How Can I Encourage Siblings to Choose Thoughtful Words During Daily Play? 

Parenting Perspective 

Playtime is one of the primary environments where siblings learn to navigate the power of their words. A careless, critical comment like, “You are too slow,” or “That looks silly,” can instantly spoil the atmosphere and create hurt feelings. By actively guiding your children to use more thoughtful and encouraging language, you help them understand that kindness in speech is what keeps their games fun, builds mutual trust, and ultimately strengthens their bond. 

Model Encouraging Language 

Children naturally absorb and replicate the language they hear around them. Make a conscious effort to model encouraging phrases during your own interactions and play. Simple words like, ‘That was a really good try!’ or ‘Well done for being so patient,’ or ‘Shall we try to do this part together?’ demonstrate that encouragement is a normal part of play. 

Introduce the ‘Stop and Switch’ Technique 

When you hear a hurtful or unkind word slip out, gently step in to guide them towards a better choice. You could say, ‘That word sounded a little unkind. Can you pause and think of a more thoughtful word to use instead?’ This simple technique trains children in the vital skill of repairing their own speech, rather than just being told to stop. 

Provide a ‘Playtime Vocabulary’ of Kind Phrases 

Sometimes children use unkind words because they lack readily available alternatives. You can help by providing them with a ‘playtime vocabulary’ of kind phrases. Coach them to switch from saying, “You are bad at this,” to something like, “You will get the hang of it next time.” This gives them the practical tools they need to practise kindness in the moment. 

Acknowledge and Praise Thoughtful Speech 

Be sure to notice when your children use kind and encouraging words during their play. Acknowledging it with warmth ‘I really liked how you said “good job” to your sister just then. That made the game more enjoyable for both of you’ helps to link positive language with a feeling of shared joy. 

Encourage Reflection After Playtime 

After a game has finished, you can take a moment to reflect with them. Ask a simple question like, ‘What were some of the words that helped the game feel fun for everyone today?’ This brief reflection makes children more conscious of how their language directly shapes their experiences and the feelings of others. 

Through these small, consistent corrections and your own positive modelling, siblings learn that their words can either wound or warm the heart, and that choosing thoughtful ones makes their playtime, and their relationship, richer and more enjoyable for everyone. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that good and wholesome words are a form of charity, and that the tongue is one of the greatest tests of a person’s character. By training siblings to choose their words thoughtfully during play, you are helping them to live out these profound Islamic teachings in a very practical way. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 53: 

‘And inform My servants that they should speak in only the politest manner (when they speak to the extremists in disbelief); indeed, Satan is (always ready for) infusing anarchy between them, as indeed, Satan is the most visible enemy for mankind.‘ 

This verse is a direct command to use the best possible words in our interactions. It reminds us that choosing kind and gentle language is a way of preventing conflict and protecting our relationships from the seeds of dissension, even in ordinary moments like playtime. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6136, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak what is good or remain silent.’ 

This foundational hadith teaches that guarding the tongue from harmful speech is a direct sign of true faith. For children, this is a clear and simple guide: even during the excitement of a game, their words should be a source of goodness, not harm. 

When siblings learn to use thoughtful and encouraging words during their play, they are building habits of self-control, compassion, and kindness that will last a lifetime. These habits not only strengthen their sibling bond but also shape them into people who naturally spread peace and encouragement wherever they go.