What can I do to highlight good behaviour they see in others? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children naturally observe and imitate the people around them, but they do not always have the discernment to know which behaviours are worth emulating. As a parent, you can actively guide their attention to positive examples, helping them value qualities like kindness, patience, and respect. This practice builds their awareness and encourages them to adopt those noble traits themselves. 

Acknowledge Good Behaviour in the Moment 

When you witness an act of kindness or respect, bring it to your child’s attention immediately. Children learn most effectively through timely and relevant real-life examples. 

• You might say, ‘Did you see how your friend offered to share their toy? That was a very kind thing to do.’ 

• Or, ‘Notice how the teacher spoke so calmly, even when the room was noisy. That takes a lot of patience.’ 

Explain the Impact of Positive Actions 

Go beyond just pointing out the behaviour; help your child understand its consequences. Connect the action to the feelings and outcomes it creates. 

• ‘When she stopped to help that person, it clearly made them feel happy and cared for.’ 

• ‘His gentle way of speaking helped everyone in the room feel calm and respected.’ 

This teaches your child to appreciate the positive impact of good character, not just the action itself. 

Encourage Positive Imitation 

Once you have highlighted a good example, encourage your child to put it into practice. This turns passive observation into active learning. 

• You could suggest, ‘That was a wonderful way to handle that. Why do we not try to do the same at home?’ 

• Or, ‘Next time, you can also offer to help like that. It will make others feel good, too.’ 

Reinforce Their Efforts with Praise 

When you notice your child imitating a positive behaviour they have seen, affirm their choice with specific praise. This builds their confidence and reinforces the value of their good actions. 

• ‘You shared with your brother just like you saw your friend do. That was wonderful to see.’ 

• ‘I noticed you spoke very kindly, just like we saw the teacher do. That shows true strength of character.’ 

Promote Thoughtful Observation 

Teach your child that while it is good to admire positive traits in others, they should not copy anyone blindly. Encourage them to think for themselves. 

• Ask questions like, ‘What did you like about what that person did?’ 

• You can also add a spiritual dimension: ‘Do you think Allah would be pleased with that action?’ 

This fosters thoughtful observation, helping them develop their own internal moral compass. 

Spiritual Insight 

Guidance from the Quran 

Islam encourages us to seek out and learn from the good examples Allah places in our lives. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mumtahanah (60), Verse 6: 

‘Indeed, in this there is for you an excellent precedent, for the person who is looking forward (in the mercy) of Allah (Almighty) and the Last Day…’ 

This verse teaches us that Allah Almighty places excellent examples in our lives for us to recognise and follow. By pointing out good behaviour in others, you are training your child to identify these positive patterns and understand their divine purpose. 

Guidance from the Hadith 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ consistently highlighted the virtues of those who not only do good but also inspire it in others. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 5027, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you are those who learn the Quran and teach it.’ 

This Hadith honours the act of learning and sharing goodness. When you teach your child to admire qualities like kindness, learning, and generosity, you are guiding them to look up to people who bring benefit to the world, thereby shaping their aspirations toward what is pleasing to Allah.