How do I help my child find good role models to follow? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children are natural observers who often imitate the people around them, from family and friends to figures in the media. This makes it vital for parents to guide them toward role models who exemplify good character and positive values. Helping your child choose their influences wisely will shape their confidence, moral compass, and sense of self. 

Highlighting Everyday Examples 

Positive role models do not need to be famous; they are often found in our daily lives. You can help your child recognise them by pointing out people who demonstrate admirable qualities. 

• An older sibling who shares their toys kindly. 

• A teacher who speaks with patience and respect. 

• A neighbour who consistently helps others in the community. 

You can reinforce this by saying something like, ‘Did you notice how helpful that person was? That is a wonderful quality to have’. 

Encouraging Critical Thinking 

It is important to teach your child how to differentiate between positive and negative influences. You can discuss the behaviour of people they see, whether in real life or in media. 

• ‘That person seems to be shouting a lot. Is that a good way to communicate?’ 

• ‘This person is always respectful and kind. Does that make them a better example to follow?’ 

By comparing different behaviours, you empower your child with the critical thinking skills needed to assess a person’s character for themselves. 

Using Stories to Inspire Character 

Stories are a powerful medium for introducing children to admirable figures. You can share real-life examples of people who have shown courage, honesty, or perseverance. Family history, biographies of historical figures, or carefully selected books can provide a rich source of role models worth admiring. 

Valuing Character Over Popularity 

Guide your child to appreciate internal qualities like kindness, integrity, patience, and fairness more than external markers like fame or physical strength. You can ask them reflective questions: ‘Is it better to be like someone who is popular, or like someone who makes others feel safe and respected?’ 

Being Their Primary Role Model 

Ultimately, children look to their parents more than anyone else. If they consistently see you handling stress calmly, treating others with kindness, and living by your values, you will naturally become the role model they trust and admire most. Your actions provide the most powerful and consistent lesson. 

Spiritual Insight 

Guidance from the Quran 

Islam provides the ultimate example of a perfect role model, giving us a clear standard against which all other influences can be measured. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ahzaab (33), Verse 21: 

‘Indeed, there is for you (O mankind) in (the personality of) the Messenger of Allah (Almighty) (Prophet Muhammad ﷺ), an outstanding example of incredible benevolence; it is for those people that have hope in Allah (Almighty) and the Day of Judgment…’ 

This verse establishes the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ as the ultimate role model for all believers. By teaching your child to measure others against his perfect example, you provide them with an unwavering standard for who is truly worthy of being followed. 

Guidance from the Hadith 

The company we keep has a profound impact on our character, a reality emphasised in the teachings of the Prophet ﷺ. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 5534, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The example of a good companion and a bad one is like that of the seller of musk and the one who blows the bellows. The first will either give you some perfume, you will buy from him, or you will smell a pleasant scent. As for the other, he will either burn your clothes or you will smell a foul odour.’ 

This Hadith powerfully illustrates how the people we look up to can either elevate or corrupt us. Sharing this wisdom with your child helps them understand the importance of choosing friends and role models who will have a positive influence on their life.