How do I help my child develop courage to stand apart from copied wrongs? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is difficult for a child to resist peer pressure, especially when friends are engaging in behaviour that seems fun or popular, even when they know it is wrong. A child may know deep down that an action is incorrect, but without courage, they may fear being left out, laughed at, or labelled as ‘different’. Building your child’s courage is about nurturing an inner strength and clarity that allows them to walk away from negative behaviour without feeling ashamed or isolated. 

Why Courage Feels Hard for Children 

A child’s hesitation to stand apart is often rooted in deep-seated social fears. They may struggle because: 

• They have a powerful craving to belong and are afraid of rejection. 

• They assume that going along with the group is easier than standing alone. 

• They do not yet have the confidence or the words to resist effectively. 

Recognising these struggles allows you to nurture their strength with patience and understanding. 

Teach Them to Value Being Different 

Explain that choosing what is right over what is popular is a mark of strength, not weakness. You might say: ‘Anyone can follow a crowd, but it takes real courage to do what is right when others are not. That is a sign of a true leader.’ By reframing ‘different’ as admirable, you help your child see that standing apart is a noble choice. 

Practise Words and Actions 

Role-play common scenarios to prepare them for real-life situations. If a peer is pressuring them to copy a wrong action, equip them with simple, ready-made responses. 

• ‘No, thanks, that is not for me.’ 

• ‘You can do that if you like, but I am not going to join in.’ 

Rehearsing these lines reduces their fear and gives them the confidence to speak up when the moment arrives. 

Celebrate Independent Choices 

When your child successfully resists copying a wrong, even in a small way, acknowledge their courage immediately and specifically. For example: ‘I am so proud of you for not joining in when those children were being unkind. That shows you have real character.’ This makes the act of standing apart feel rewarding, not isolating. 

Give Them Heroes to Look Up To 

Share stories of individuals who stood for what was right despite being in the minority. These can be figures from your own family, from history, or from Islamic tradition. These examples strengthen their identity and reinforce the idea that integrity is more valuable than popularity. 

Build Belonging at Home 

A child who feels deeply loved, accepted, and respected at home will be far less desperate for peer approval. A strong sense of family belonging becomes their safe anchor, giving them the resilience to withstand negative social currents. 

By teaching your child to see courage as a virtue and consistently affirming their independent choices, you prepare them to face peer pressure with true inner strength. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours those who stand firm in the truth, even if the majority of people are turning away from it. Teaching your child to resist negative peer pressure is part of shaping them into a believer who values integrity over social acceptance. 

The truth is not determined by how many people are following it. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Maaidah (5), Verse 100: 

‘ Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): “The evil and the pure cannot be equated (in any way whatsoever), even though you may be bewildered by many of the evil actions…”.’ 

This verse is a powerful reminder that what is right remains right, even if it is unpopular. It teaches that a person of faith should be impressed by truth, not by numbers. 

True strength in the sight of Allah lies in holding firm to what is right. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2664, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both.’ 

This hadith teaches that strength of character, which includes the courage to resist wrongdoing, is a quality beloved by Allah. When your child learns that this courage is a mark of faith, they no longer feel ashamed of standing apart. Instead, they see it as an act of honour that brings them closer to their Creator.