How do I respond when my child comes home copying rude phrases from school? 

Parenting Perspective 

It can be shocking and hurtful when your child comes home repeating a rude phrase they have picked up at school. You may worry that their innocence is fading or that this new language will become a habit. Often, children imitate these words without fully understanding their weight. Your response in these first few moments is crucial in determining whether the phrase becomes a fixture or fades away. 

Stay Calm and Neutral 

If you overreact with shock or anger, you give the rude phrase immense power in your child’s mind, making it more exciting to repeat. Instead, maintain a calm, neutral tone. 

Parent: ‘I heard that phrase. In our family, we choose respectful words instead.’ 

This simple correction addresses the behaviour directly without rewarding it with a dramatic reaction. 

Explain Why It Is Hurtful 

Children need to understand the ‘why’ behind the rule. Connect the prohibition to the principle of empathy. 

Parent: ‘Words like that can hurt people’s feelings, even if you are just joking. Our words should be used to help people, not to cause them pain.’ 

This transforms the lesson from one of mere obedience into one of caring for others. 

Offer Better Alternatives 

Provide your child with a new script they can use in moments of frustration or playfulness. This gives them an outlet for their feelings that is safe and respectful. 

Parent: ‘Instead of using that rude phrase when you are annoyed, you could try saying something like, “Oh, bother!” or “That is silly!”’ 

By offering a replacement, you are not just taking something away; you are giving them a better tool to use. 

Communicate with the School if Needed 

If the issue persists and you believe the language is coming from the classroom environment, it is perfectly reasonable to speak with the teacher. A brief, collaborative conversation can help address the classroom culture and reinforce the importance of respectful language for all students. 

With a combination of calm correction, clear boundaries, and empathetic guidance, you can ensure that rude phrases from the outside world do not become normalised within your home. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that purity of speech is a direct reflection of a pure heart. Children must learn from an early age that their words are not just sounds; they carry a weight and a responsibility. By guiding them towards kind and considered language, you are protecting and nurturing their character. 

Every word we utter is recorded and has significance in the sight of Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Qaaf (50), Verse 18: 

‘(Man) is unable to utter a single word, without him being closely observed (and all actions being recorded), who is always present.‘ 

Teaching this concept makes children mindful that their speech is never without consequence. It instils a sense of accountability for everything they say. 

Good character, of which respectful speech is a cornerstone, is among the most valuable assets a person can possess. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4799, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Nothing weighs heavier on the scale of good deeds than good character.’ 

This hadith teaches that kind, respectful words are not a small matter; they are a significant part of the good character that brings immense reward. For children, this means that replacing a rude phrase with a kind one earns not only the love of people but also the pleasure of Allah. By responding to this challenge calmly and connecting it to faith, you can turn a slip of the tongue into a lifelong lesson in dignity and kindness.