What can I do if my child copies jealousy-driven actions like sulking or excluding? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is upsetting to watch your child act out of jealousy by sulking or excluding others, especially when they are copying this behaviour from a sibling. You may worry that these habits will harm your child’s relationships. However, jealousy is a common childhood emotion, and this provides a valuable opportunity to guide both children toward managing it in healthier ways. 

Recognise the Root of Jealousy 

Jealousy often surfaces when a child feels their share of love, attention, or recognition is threatened. Instead of dismissing the behaviour with ‘Stop being jealous’, try to acknowledge the underlying feeling. 

By naming the emotion, you validate your child’s feelings without approving of their negative behaviour. This opens the door for a constructive conversation. For example: 

Parent: ‘I can see you are upset because your sister was chosen first. That feels unfair, does it not?’ 

Child: (Nods) 

Parent: ‘I understand that feeling. Next time, let us find a fair way to decide together.’ 

Teach Healthier Alternatives 

Guide your child towards positive responses rather than destructive ones. Gentle role-playing can be an effective tool to practise these new skills in a low-pressure environment. 

Parent: ‘If you feel left out, what could you say instead of sulking?’ 

Child: ‘Can I join in?’ 

Parent: ‘That is a brilliant idea. Asking kindly often works much better than showing you are upset.’ 

This teaches children that while the feeling of jealousy is natural, the choices they make in response can turn a negative moment into a positive one. 

Model and Reward Positive Behaviour 

Children learn a great deal from observing how their parents handle conflict and fairness. Model patience in your own reactions and be quick to highlight good behaviour when you see it. A simple comment, such as, ‘I really love how you shared your game with your brother,’ powerfully encourages the repetition of positive actions. Over time, this makes kindness and cooperation far more rewarding than jealousy-driven habits. 

By combining empathy, practical guidance, and consistent reinforcement, you can help your child understand that jealousy is a passing feeling, but respect and kindness are lasting values. 

Spiritual Insight 

Jealousy (hasad) is considered one of the heart’s greatest trials. Islam recognises it as a natural human inclination but guides us to manage it internally and never to act upon it in harmful ways. By teaching children to express their needs calmly and to celebrate the blessings of others, parents nurture the vital Islamic qualities of humility and gratitude (shukr). 

Quranic Guidance 

True contentment comes from trusting in the wisdom behind Allah’s divine distribution of blessings and talents. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 32: 

‘ And do not begrudge what benefactions have been given by Allah (Almighty), some of you instead of others…’ 

Teaching this principle from an early age helps children focus on developing their own unique strengths rather than envying what others have been given. 

Prophetic Wisdom 

Jealousy is not a harmless emotion; it is spiritually corrosive and can destroy one’s good deeds. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4903, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Beware of jealousy, for verily it destroys good deeds the way fire destroys wood.’ 

This powerful analogy teaches that jealousy not only harms our relationships with others but also erodes our own spiritual standing. Children can learn from this that while sulking or excluding may bring a moment of perceived power, it ultimately weakens the bonds of love and goodness that Allah loves. 

By gently connecting everyday sibling struggles to these timeless truths, you help your child grow into someone who feels emotions deeply yet chooses actions wisely. This nurtures not just sibling harmony, but a heart rooted in faith, gratitude, and empathy.