Parenting Perspective 

Children often understand forgiveness as simply ‘not being angry anymore’, but they may not necessarily link it to the proactive virtue of kindness. Helping them to see forgiveness as an active form of kindness, one that makes both them and the other person feel better, serves to deepen its meaning. True forgiveness is not only about letting go of a hurt, but also about choosing to respond with compassion. 

Frame Forgiveness as a Positive Gift 

Explain to your child, ‘When you forgive someone, you are actively being kind. You are giving that person a chance to feel better and to make peace with you again.’ This reframes forgiveness as a positive gift that they can offer, rather than a reluctant obligation. 

Pair Forgiveness with a Kind Gesture 

Guide your child to pair the act of forgiveness with a tangible kind gesture. This could be a simple smile, an offer to play together again, or saying something reassuring. This helps them to see that forgiveness is more powerful when it is wrapped in kindness. 

Model a Warm and Kind Forgiveness 

When you forgive someone, do so with warmth and sincerity. You could say, ‘I forgive you, and I look forward to moving on together.’ It is important to avoid cold or resentful tones, because children are very perceptive and can tell whether the forgiveness you are offering feels sincere and kind. 

Highlight the Positive Emotional Impact 

Show them how forgiveness and kindness work together to bring about peace. You could ask, ‘Did you notice how happy your friend felt when you forgave them so kindly? That is the beauty of choosing to be kind.’ This helps to connect the act of forgiveness to the joy it creates. 

By linking forgiveness with kindness, you help your child to see it not as a burden, but as a beautiful way of spreading love, peace, and connection in their relationships. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the concepts of forgiveness and kindness are deeply connected. The act of forgiving is in itself a form of ihsan (excellence), as it involves going beyond mere justice to show mercy. Allah Almighty praises those who not only pardon others but also treat them with gentleness and compassion. 

Quranic Guidance on Patience and Forgiveness 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verse 126: 

‘And if you have to retaliate (with your enemies) then reciprocating the same manner in which you were attacked with; and if you show patience (and resilience), then surely this is the best (pathway) for those who are extremely patient.’ 

This verse reminds us that while justice is a right, the path of patience and forgiveness, when offered with kindness, is better and more beloved to Allah Almighty. 

Prophetic Wisdom on the Beauty of Kindness 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2592, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Kindness is not found in anything except that it beautifies it, and it is not taken out of anything except that it makes it defective.’ 

This hadith teaches us that when forgiveness is paired with kindness, it beautifies the entire act and serves to strengthen the bonds between people. 

By showing your child that forgiveness and kindness together create beauty in a person’s character, you help to root them in the core Islamic value of mercy. They learn that real strength is found not only in pardoning a fault but in choosing to do so with kindness, an act which softens hearts and earns the pleasure of Allah Almighty.